


and the ghosts (they own everything)

by prettypoisons (lesbiankarolina)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (Very brief), Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Rewrite, Civil War Team Iron Man, F/M, Gen, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Nebula & Tony Stark Friendship, Nebula (Marvel) Has Issues, Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, basically me rewriting endgame as i wouldve liked it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-07-19 07:56:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19970620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiankarolina/pseuds/prettypoisons
Summary: Tony Stark had always been well-acquainted with the idea of the end. It had haunted him for years, ever since he put a nuke on his shoulders and flew off into the expanse of space. The only thing is, he had hoped, prayed, that it wasn’t so soon. Another thing he had learned was that just because you hope for something doesn’t necessarily mean that it will come true.//This is basically me rewriting Endgame as I wanted it:)





	1. always fucking fine

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Just a heads up: if you're a Cap fan, you probably won't be into this story. I don't really like him, and that's definitely reflected in this story. If you still want to read it, I hope you like it! I've been working on this story for quite a while:)
> 
> I won't get into my thoughts on Endgame here, except I thought literally everyone's endings were done for shock value and/or were out of character. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!:) I hope you like it!

Tony Stark had always been well-acquainted with the idea of the end. It had haunted him for years, ever since he put a nuke on his shoulders and flew off into the expanse of space. The only thing is, he had hoped, prayed, that it wasn’t so soon. Another thing he had learned was that just because you hope for something doesn’t necessarily mean that it will come true.

He thought he had been prepared. Yes, the Avengers were gone, but he was there. Rhodey was there. T’Challa was there. All the Avengers who hadn’t gone rogue were surely enough, especially with the Vibranium upgrade and additional genius Shuri and the other Wakandans were able to provide. Tony had built suit after suit, invention after invention; how could it not be enough?

As Nebula set up her hands for yet another round of paper football, he tried to stop thinking about it. Pretend that the very air he was breathing had a very looming expiration date. He flicked the little football right on track for a shot, but Nebula literally growled, hopping into fighting position.

“You don’t need to do that, because, uh,” he started; is this what having kids was like? 

Kids. Peter. Dust.

He shook the thought away before continuing on. “You’re just holding position.”

(Don’t get distracted. Don’t get distracted. There’s no expiration date on the air. Peter’s just at school. Thanos was just a bad dream. Believing anything else will only hurt. You’re going to die anyway. You’re going to die anyway.)

He held up his goal, and Nebula stuck her tongue between her lips as she flicked the paper football right through. She seemed to be jittery with anticipation; it was as if she had never won a single round of anything in her entire life. Honestly, this was probably true. She had told him about her relationship with Thanos and Gamora on the 16th day, before they made the paper football. She mentioned countless losses, the torture of being turned into a machine. He told her the story of his arc reactor and how he had wanted to be a father, too, one much better than the likes of Howard or Thanos. 

( _“The Spider-Boy was not of Stark blood?” She had asked, and Tony had stiffened, his heart constricting in his chest._ )

He had only talked about Peter on the 8th day, before Tony remembered that Stark men were made of iron and after he and Nebula had decided that neither were interested in simple campfire stories.

“That’s a goal,” he said, the glint in her eyes bringing a feeling of something, maybe pride, to his heart.. “You’re now one apiece.”

“I would like to try again,”

She flicked the paper football again, looking somehow more excited as it whizzed right through the goal.

“We tied up. Feel the tension? It’s fun.”

Tony flicked the paper football. It was frankly an awful shot, but the expression growing on Nebula’s face made him feel as if he had done something right. “That was terrible. Now you have a chance to win.”

Nebula focused hard before flicking the football. Once again, it sailed right through the goal. There was a nervous sort of excitement on her face.

“And… you’ve won. Congratulations.” Tony reached out a hand for her to shake, doing his best not to let the corners of his lips quirk up at how taken aback she seemed to be by the victory. She shook his hand quickly. Tony was sorry, so fucking sorry, that she had Thanos as a father. “Fair game. Good sport. Have fun?”

Nebula sat back in her seat, an almost undetectable smile on her face. “It was fun.”

\---

There was only one serving of food left. Tony didn’t even think before tilting the bag towards Nebula.

She gave him a meaningful look before pushing it back towards him.

Tony understood, kind of, but the action sent a knife through his heart.

He ate slowly, hoping to savor it enough for the both of them.

\---

“He didn’t have Stark blood, or whatever the Hell you said, but I cared about him. So much,” He admitted sometime on day 8. He didn’t remember most of that day; it had been one of the bad days. 

“Would you enjoy talking about him? Does that… help?”

(According to the people back on Earth, Tony Stark didn’t cry. However, Tony Stark wasn’t on Earth.)

“It doesn’t make sense. It just doesn’t… God, he was so young. Remember how I told you I wanted to be a father? It was because of him. I don’t… I have to get him back. I have to.”

“Then we will.”

It was a nice sentiment, but neither of them believed it.

\---

“Hey, Miss Potts. Pep.”

It was day 22. He had always been well-acquainted with the idea of the end, but now that it was here, there was an indescribable ache in his chest, or maybe that was grief. Either way, it felt grim. 

“If you find this recording, don’t post it on social media.”

(I don’t want to see this on your MySpace page-)

“It’s gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don’t know if you’re ever going to see these.” Tony considered for a moment that he probably should have gathered his thoughts prior to making the recording. Who knows? What if Pepper was- “I don’t even know if you’re… If you’re still… Oh God, I hope so.”

If Thanos had taken both Pepper and Peter, it was safe to say that Doctor Strange’s sacrifice would have most certainly been in vain.

“Today is day 21- no, uh, 22.” He hated the way the blue light covered everything. He toyed around with the idea that when he died, he would die with it covering him, too, just like in all of his nightmares. “You know, if it wasn’t for the existential terror of staring into the void of space, I’d say I’m feeling better today.”

Tony told Pepper everything, or, everything that he could remember within the span of three minutes or so. Didn’t want to waste too much of her time. He told her about Nebula, how he had grown to care about her over the past three weeks. He told her that he had tried, God, how he had tried to salvage the ship and come home to her. 

“When I drift off,” he said. It wasn’t an ‘if’ situation anymore. “I will dream about you.”

He sighed.

“It’s always you.”

\---

Oxygen was almost out. He knew it. For a moment, though, as he fell asleep, he elected to forget, and instead, he chose to focus on the warmth he was going to feel when he was finally wrapped up in Pepper’s arms again. When he finally could run his fingers through Peter’s curls. When he could finally pull Rhodey into the tightest hug ever. He was thinking about this when his thinking ceased altogether.

\---

Nebula had never been afraid of death. In the past, the idea that Thanos would just finally kill her and end all of her suffering seemed to be a relief. She was ashamed to look back on those days now, now that Gamora was really her sister, and there were true friends by her side, and…

She had never really worried about others dying, either. Before, she hadn’t been close to anyone. Gamora was the closest thing she had to a friend, and their relationship was rocky at best. If someone were to die, Nebula would probably continue on as if nothing had ever happened. Anything less would have warranted her to further punishment from Thanos. 

She was thinking something else entirely as she lifted Tony’s unconscious body. He had no reason to care about her, to offer her the last of their food, to play games with her, to talk to her, but he had. He had cared about her. For the first time in her entire life, someone had cared about her without being tied to her by familial obligations or she’s-Gamora’s-sister reasons. It would hurt to see him go. He shouldn’t have to go, not after he fought so hard for the universe to stay.

She sat him in the Captain’s seat, letting her hand linger on his shoulder.

If he had to die, she would put it upon herself to make it noble.

\---

Carol Danvers had heard of Tony Stark. Of course she had. The entire universe had heard about Tony Stark- well, technically, the Avengers, but basically just Tony Stark- back in 2012 when he had the guts to throw an entire nuke at Thanos’ fleet of spaceships. 

Now, picking up Stark in the middle of space was not what she had expected when she got the notification from Fury’s pager. She had actually been on her way to Earth before she had gotten his alert, since the Snap had affected planets all across the galaxy, but seeing it still made her breath catch in her throat. If anything had happened to Fury or Maria or Monica… There would be Hell to pay.

Before she had flown off into space to catch Stark, she had given the Rambeaus a call. Maria answered, immediately assuring Carol that both her and Monica were fine, and yes, Carol could go off and save the world so long as she promised to come by and visit when she was done. She had agreed with a sad smile. Anyway, space!

She found the spaceship quickly (traffic had been light for obvious reasons) and was able to get it back to Avengers Compound even quicker.

\---

As Tony staggered off the Milano, he was still suffering the effects of lack of oxygen. Nebula had helped him stand, assisting him as he wobbled off the ship. He wanted to hug her, to thank her, but he looked at her and it was clear she already knew what he wanted to say. He turned his attention to people on the ground.

Steve Rogers was the first to greet him. That was a surprise. Tony felt very cold, suddenly, his fingers and toes going numb at the memory of Siberian snow and a shattered reactor in his chest. There wasn’t any anger left right now, though, to Steve’s benefit. All that was left was-

“I couldn’t stop him.”

“Neither could I.”

“I lost the kid,” Tony said; it was almost like a whine, a desperate cry for help. He wanted to make Steve understand, make him understand that the kid was gone, so everything was gone. 

“Tony, we lost-”

Tony barely heard him. Everything was gone, except-

“Is, um..” He trailed off. Couldn’t say it. He was weak until the very-

There she was! She raced up to him, and though it was clear she had been crying, Tony would swear that she was as beautiful as she’d ever been, if not more.

“Oh my God!” She said, her eyes brimming with even more tears.

Tony’s brain was still mush. All he knew was that he didn’t want her to cry anymore. He pulled her into a hug, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to feel it for a minute. Feel everything. Feel Peter’s vanishing, Steve’s abandonment, that blade through his stomach, gratefulness for Nebula, overwhelming relief for Pepper… 

He just felt.

“Is…” he began. “Is Rhodey..?”

Suddenly, Rhodey’s hand was on his shoulder and Tony was being traded into a different set of arms. “I knew you weren’t dead. They were all saying you might have been, but nah.”

Tony just wrapped his arms tighter around his friend’s back.

“How many times do I have to tell you to ride with me?” Rhodey said, quieter. It was almost a whisper.

“You know I’m no good with following directions.”

Rhodey was the first to pull away, clapping Tony on the shoulder. “Come on, man. We’ve gotta get you to MedBay.”

\---

“It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth.” Natasha stated. This made sense. Natasha had always liked facts, analyzing the situation as logically as she could. “World governments are in pieces-”

“Did anyone…” Tony paused. He still felt a bit dizzy. “Did anyone send out my… my suits? My… relief services? I had them all ready for something like this. I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew it. Did anyone send them? The suits?”

“No,” Steve answered. “Honestly, we didn’t even think-”

“Didn’t think,” Tony huffed. It was shaky. “Sounds about right. Someone get on that when we’re done here. Sorry, Rushman. Continue.”

Nat raised an eyebrow at the use of the old alias, but continued on anyway. “As I was saying, the governments that are still working are trying to take a census. And it looks like he did… exactly what he said he was going to do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures.”

“Where is he now? Where?” Tony asked. He couldn’t help growing impatient. The awful feeling of seeing Peter’s face flicker across the projection as one of the ones dead certainly did not help him contain his frustration with them. They lost. This was the one battle, the one battle, they had to win. The battle he had been warning them about for years. The reason he had signed the accords, and they had lost.

“We don’t know,” Steve said. Tony wanted to punch him in the face, but that wouldn’t hurt enough. Maybe a repulsor strike to the teeth. “He just opened a portal and walked through.”

Tony turned to look at Thor. He needed some good news, needed to know that the others were able to do one good thing-

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Yeah, he’s pissed,” the raccoon (??????) in the corner of the room chimed in. “He thinks he failed, which, of course he did, but there’s a lot of that goin’ around, ain’t there?”

While a raccoon talking was weird, it was not the weirdest thing Tony had been subjected to in the past month. “Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear.”

Rocket shrugged. “Maybe I am.”

Before Tony could think of a snarky response to that one, Steve was speaking again. “We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep Space scans, satellites, and we got nothing.” 

Every single word coming from his mouth without even acknowledging everything that had gone wrong sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation or the food deprivation or the air deprivation or even the grief talking, but Tony really needed to say ‘I told you so,’ needed it more than anything.

“Tony, you fought him-”

Tony nearly laughed. “Who told you that? I didn’t fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician gave him the stone. That’s what happened. There was no fight.”

They hadn’t even asked him what happened. Hadn’t even asked if he was okay. They just whipped him to MedBay and expected him to be the answer to everything, to solve all of their problems. They didn’t ask him who he lost because, to them, Tony Stark didn’t have a heart, so why should he care about anyone? Why?

“Did he give you any clues?” Steve asked. Maybe he was desperate, but Tony didn’t care. “Any coordinates? Anything?”

Tony scoffed. He had given them everything they needed years ago! He told them Thanos was coming! He said they had to be together! He had given them what they needed, and they had ignored it!

“I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision, didn’t want to believe it. Thought I was dreaming.”

Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe he would get lucky and wake up tomorrow and talk to Peter about his trip to the MOMA-

“Tony, I’m gonna need you to focus-”

That was it-

“And I needed you. Past tense. That trumps what you need. It’s too late, buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?” Tony stood up as dramatically as he could, considered the stupid meal Rhodey had prepared in five seconds so they could have this dumbass meeting for a moment before swiping it off the table. He had just wanted five goddamn minutes to feel something- “I need to shave. And I remember telling you, Cap…”

Tony ripped his IV out of his arm before standing up and stalking over to Steve, ignoring Rhodey’s pleas for him to sit down. “What we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedom or not- that’s what we needed!”

It’s what Peter needed. Maybe if they had that armor, then Peter wouldn’t be dead and Tony wouldn’t have to be stuck with this awful weight in his chest and constant feeling of emptiness in his stomach-

“Well, that didn’t work out, did it?”

“I said, ‘we’ll lose.’ You said, ‘we’ll do that together too.’ And guess what, Cap? We lost. You weren’t there. But that’s what we do, right?” Tony was half out of his mind with anger. Steve, Mr. I’m-Always-Right had fucked this up, and Tony was not about to let it go unpunished. “Our best work after the fact?” After Coulson’s death, after Ultron, after Thanos- “We’re the Avengers. We’re the A-vengers, not the Pre-vengers, right?”

“Okay, you made your point, just sit down, okay?” Tony could tell by the look in Rhodey’s eyes that he understood, but he wasn’t sleep deprived or food deprived or Pepper deprived or air deprived or fucking blood deprived or mourning a pseudo-son, so fuck that.

“Nah, nah, nah, here’s my point.”

“Sit down!” Rhodey said.

Tony gazed around the room, relishing in the expressions all the Avengers bore on their faces. They were surprised, surprised he was finally letting them have it. Surprised he had the guts, maybe. Only one looked like she was listening intently, maybe like she agreed- He made an offhand motion towards Carol before continuing. 

“She’s great, by the way.” He turned to face her, wanted her to look in his eyes and know that even though he was angry, he meant it, genuinely. “We need you. You’re new blood.”

“Tony!” Rhodey was trying to shut him up, but Tony chose to take it to mean he was getting off topic and should turn his tangent back to Cap.

“Bunch of tired old mills!” He declared, stepping forwards until he was right up in Cap’s face. “I got nothing for you, Cap! I got no coordinates, no clues, no plan, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar.”

Steve looked upset, and Tony felt it again: the cold feeling in his fingers, the chill down his spine. It was Siberian snow, the ice collecting in his hair. It was a broken arc reactor in his chest. A broken heart. Cap didn’t even know that it was unnecessary, that it wasn’t the only thing powering his heart… He would’ve left him there, dead. Dead, dead, dead, like Peter’s dust on his palms, like Bucky had left Tony’s mother…

Tony pulled his arc reactor out of his chest and slammed it into Steve’s hand. He was growing dizzy, now, too dizzy, but he could put up with dizzy, he was fine, he could put up with it, because he told them he was dizzy, and they had made him come to this stupid fucking meeting where he learned that they hadn’t done shit to stop Thanos and expected him to solve all of his problems so it was fine.

“Here, take this. You find him, and you put that on. You hide.” His words were slurring, maybe, or maybe it was just his head. His ears. His sleep/food/air/Peter/blood deprivation. Pesky thing. He was going to have to work on that.

Suddenly, he was on his knees. It hurt, it hurt so bad…

“Tony!”

“I’m fine, I-”

_I’m always fucking fine._


	2. a right time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We were supposed to be your defenders. Your protectors. You were supposed to be able to rely on us to stop things like this, and you couldn’t, and… I don’t think I’ve been more sorry for anything in my entire life.” He paused. “You’re our number one priority, now. We will do whatever we can to bring back the people who… the ones who… are gone, but we can’t make any promises."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to wait a little bit longer before publishing this chapter so I could have time to,, yknow actually finish the story, but I couldn't help it! Heads up, **trigger warning** for this chapter (i'm updating the tags right now), a character has an anxiety attack so if you don't do well with those kind of things just stop reading when the press conference is over!:)
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter! All your nice comments on the last one really made my day, so thanks a lot to everyone who commented or left kudos!

Peter Parker had hated being alone. He had hated it his whole life. The hatred had been exacerbated when his parents died. He was attached to May’s leg for weeks and weeks. It increased tenfold when Ben died. He needed people around to keep himself content, to keep himself sane. However, as he learned, you can’t always get what you want.

He woke up all by himself.

“Mr. Stark?” He called, even though the desert-like landscape of Titan had been replaced by a seemingly empty realm. The only thing Peter could see was his own suit. “Mr. Stark? Are you there?”

Man, he felt so bad. He had gotten Mr. Stark all worked up, and he wasn’t even dead. He was just in some… weird place. Well, Peter had made quite a habit of ending up in weird places, so he was certain he would get out of this one. It would just take some time. Surely.

If he wasn’t with Tony, that probably meant that Tony was looking for him, right? Tony had to be looking for him.

“Karen?” he asked his suit.

There was no answer.

“Karen, can you hear me?”

Nothing.

Huh.

\---

It didn’t take long for Carol to realize that Tony Stark was held together by Scotch tape, if anything at all. She knew it as she watched him eye the screen in the common area of the Compound, his face falling at the site of a young brown-haired boy. She wanted to ask what his name was, but Tony didn’t look all too receptive at the moment.

She hadn’t been surprised when he passed out, but she was the first by his side, the first to lift him up and take him back to MedBay. She had also been the first to roll her eyes at Steve’s suggestion to have a meeting in the first place. She was beginning to see why the Avengers had fallen apart. They didn’t know how to communicate, to compromise. They didn’t know how to take care of each other. She had given this entire rant to Tony’s unconscious body as Bruce hooked him back up to the IV, gently placing the arc reactor back in his chest.

“Do you know what happened?” She asked him. “That made them so… “

Bruce shook his head. “I was stranded in space when they had their… thing. Rhodey was telling me how bad it was, though. Even if Tony forgives Steve, I don’t think Rhodey will.”

“Why?”

Bruce exhaled. “He says Tony went to Siberia to get Steve to come back, to sort out the whole dispute. Rhodey picked him up after because he said he couldn’t get himself home on his own anymore. His arc reactor was destroyed. Tony nearly got hypothermia, but Rhodey said that wasn’t the worst of it. He said… Tony just looked destroyed. He wouldn't say why. Hasn’t been the same since.”

Carol nodded slowly, taking in the information.

“I missed him a lot when I was gone,” Bruce said suddenly. “He was like my… my best friend, before…”

“I get that feeling.” Carol smiled. “My best friend has been on Earth all these years while I was in space.”

“Oh yeah? What’s their name?”

“She. Maria. I met her years ago. We were both in the Air Force, the only female pilots. She gets me, you know? She was… I don’t know. I’m still so impressed, if that’s the right word, that she was able to get past all of this,” Carol lit up her hand to show her powers. “and be a friend. She somehow knew I was still the same person I’d always been, even when I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I definitely know that feeling. Tony was the only one who didn’t walk on eggshells when we first met.” Bruce chuckled. “He kept poking me as if it was going to turn me into the Hulk. He was the one who taught me that it didn’t make me a monster.”

“Of course it didn’t make you a monster. It never would have happened to you if it wasn’t meant to.”

“You believe that? Things only happen when they’re meant to?”

Carol shrugged. “Most times. I’m having trouble seeing the reason behind all of this, though.”

The “this” she was referring to was obvious.

Bruce sighed. “Well, the quote-unquote team is back together. We met you. Maybe that’s the why.”

“Yeah.” A half-smile appeared on Carol’s face. “Maybe.”

\---

Tony had known from the beginning that the press conference was going to be a nightmare. Not because of the other people there, no, but because he couldn’t really seem to get a handle on his emotions. He had been pretty lucky, for the most part. He only ever seemed to breakdown in front of Pepper and Rhodey (and Bruce, once, in MedBay). His grief seemed to come out in the form of anger when around everyone else.

Tony was dressed in all black, like a funeral. It was kind of a funeral, though, wasn’t it? Tons of people had just died, and he was saying his piece in order to help the crowd assuage their grief. Sounded like a funeral.

“Remember,” Steve said as Happy made sure Tony’s tie was centered. “Follow the script.”

Tony sent the man a glare before shouldering past him. He hadn’t really said a single meaningful word to Steve since the day he came back. He had meant what he had said; there was nothing left for him. There was too much on Tony’s plate already, and dealing with an ex-frenemy was not top priority.

He took a deep breath before walking out to the podium. Instantly, when he looked at the journalists who gathered, he was hit with a crippling feeling of nostalgia. The room was half-full, which made sense, but hurt nonetheless. They deserved so much more than this stupid script Steve and Bruce had written him.

( _“You do know he’s not even going to glance at that, right?” Rhodey had said, raising an eyebrow._

_“Well, if he knows what’s good for the planet, he will.”_

_“He’s not going to. Don’t even bother.”_

_“Rhodey.”_

_“Fine. I do enjoy a good ‘I told you so.’”_ )

He didn’t look over at the others as he shoved the cards into his back pocket, but he could feel Steve throwing his head back in frustration.

“Hey everyone,” He said when he finally stepped up to the podium. “Lot of shit’s gone down since the last time we were here, hasn’t it?”

A few solemn nods.

“I had a speech…” He paused. “They wrote me a whole speech for this, but… You guys deserve something authentic. From the heart, or whatever.”

Tony sighed, pulling the sunglasses off his face before folding them and placing them on the podium. “I’m just going to start by saying that I’m sorry. Truly. I’m sorry we couldn’t stop it. Stop him. You’re probably wondering what happened.”

He thought of the cards, the script written in Steve’s neat print, front and back. 

( _Alien attack. Nothing they could do. Powerful magic._ )

“There was an alien named Thanos. Any of you Greek students out there, feel free to laugh. Thanatos means death. Stylish name choice there, right?” Tony laughed, but it sounded empty. He slammed a fist on the podium. “I chased him to space. Couldn’t stop him. I tried, believe me, I tried. He…

“He wanted the stones. The infinity stones. When you get all six of them, they are the most powerful things in the entire universe, so that’s cool. He wanted to… His endgame was to kill half of all life. He thought we were overpopulated. He thought that too many people were waking up hungry, which is true, but that was no way to fix it, especially since he killed half of all plants and stuff, too. Alien doesn’t mean smart, I guess.”

The press looked at him with sad eyes. They knew, he thought. He hadn’t told anyone but Pepper, Rhodey, and Bruce about Peter, but somehow they all knew. I’m sorry, their faces said.

“We were supposed to be your defenders. Your protectors. You were supposed to be able to rely on us to stop things like this, and you couldn’t, and… I don’t think I’ve been more sorry for anything in my entire life.”

They all sat for a moment, in the silence.

“That’s not what this conference is about, though. It’s about… learning how to move forward. Firstly, I have sent out my relief services, the suits you probably saw on the way here. They will work on cleaning up the streets and the rivers and look for people in danger. I sent them all across the country, and I’m working on prepping a new batch to send overseas. We have expanded the Compound’s MedBay to account for anyone who needs long term care, and we’ve converted the first three floors into relief suites. We have grief counselors on site at all times, located on the 4th and 5th floors. No appointment needed. Doesn’t cost anything to you guys. I’m funding the entire thing.”

He paused. “You’re our number one priority, now. We will do whatever we can to bring back the people who… the ones who… are gone, but we can’t make any promises. Questions?”

“What can we do? To help?”

Tony smiled. It was almost completely unnoticeable. “We’d recommend joining volunteer operations to clean up. On the, uh, Stark Industries website, the home page has links to all the different companies assisting. You can sign up there, too. People to drive ambulances and help out others in tricky medical situations are always needed. I think the biggest thing you can do, though, is just check up on people. If you haven’t talked to them in a while, and you know they have medical issues, and you think something might have happened to them, go talk to them. See if they’re alright.”

“The ash,” someone else asked. “What are we doing with it?”

Tony sighed, rubbing at his palms as if Peter’s ash was still there. “We are going to clean it up. It’s an environmental hazard, and it’s already beginning to contaminate the air. If you can, just… We are trying to collect all the names of everyone lost per area for a memorial in Central Park. We’ll give more information to you as we get it. Anything else?”

“Did you lose anyone, Stark?”

Tony blinked.

( _“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good-”_ )

“Didn’t we all?” Air caught in his throat. “No more questions. Again, I’m so sorry.”

He nodded at the press once more before walking off stage. 

\---

“I told you,” Rhodey muttered, a cheeky grin on his face.

Steve huffed.

\---

Tony could barely even think as he walked off the stage. He felt kind of like he was going to throw up but also a bit like he was going to pass out. Mostly, though, he felt like he was going to cry. Bawl his fucking eyes out because they had to ask him about the fucking kid-

He took a shaky breath, setting his jaw as he pushed open the door. Steve was instantly in his face.

“What was that?” He asked, his voice vaguely threatening. “We wrote you a script; we had it all in the script!”

Tony felt like a bomb. He needed to get out of there. He had to get out of there. Steve needed to get out his way so Tony could get out of there-

“Can we do this later?” Tony’s voice was hoarse, but Steve didn’t seem to notice.

“You could’ve ruined the whole thing.”

“I didn’t.”

“How would you know? You didn’t look at the cards.”

“Please. Please. Not right now.”

“There’s never a right time with you! I don’t even- _I don’t know what’s happening_ with you-”

Steve’s voice dissipated into nothing. All Tony could hear now was Peter.

( _“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good.” He had barely been able to stammer out the words, and Tony. God, Tony couldn’t stand it. Peter had to be okay. Peter had to be okay. Peter had to be okay._

_“You’re alright,” he said. His voice wasn’t confident. Not breezy as usual. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. He was terrified, he realized, more terrified than he had ever been in his whole life._

_“I don’t know what’s- I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t-”_

_Peter collapsed into Tony’s arms, holding on with so much force that he was hurting Tony’s back, but it didn’t matter, none of that mattered, not right now. Tony hugged Peter back as tightly as he could; maybe, just maybe, if he held on tight enough, the dusting would eventually cease. Peter would be fine. Peter had to be fine._

_“I don’t wanna go, Mr. Stark, please,” He begged, and Tony found his own eyes filling with tears. He wanted to save him. Wanted to tell him that everything would be alright. He would do anything for Peter to be alright. “You need to save me, Mr. Stark. No one else can save me. Please. I need you to save me.”_

_They fell to the ground. More like, Tony fell to the ground. Peter didn’t exactly have the legs to fall from anymore. Tony was going to throw up. He doesn’t… Tony Stark, the man who could never shut up, suddenly had nothing to say. Nothing to say to his kid, who was dying right in front of him-_

_He held Peter tightly, so tightly, nonetheless._

_The kid turned to look Tony in the eyes. Tony wanted to be strong for him, he had to be strong for him. He wanted to tell the kid that he would be alright, that Tony would always save him. Instead, he said nothing._

_“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered, and before Tony had time to tell him all the reasons that didn’t make sense, that Peter had nothing to be sorry for, that this wasn’t his fault, that he was loved-_

_He turned to ash, and suddenly Tony’s arms were empty. Suddenly, his hands were covered in dust, Peter, Peter’s dust._

_Before he had time to process, he heard the voice again-_

_“Mr. Stark?”_

_Tony looked down at the dust on his hands, then up towards the source of the voice. There was Peter, wobbling on his feet yet again._

_Peter rushed over to him, and Tony, confused, pulled this Peter into a hug, too._

_This continued on and on, faster and faster until Tony’s head was clogged with the voices._

_“Mr. Stark?”_

_“I don’t know what’s-”_

_“Help me-”_

_“I don’t wanna go, sir-”_

_“I’m sorry-”_

_“I’m sorry-”_

_“I’m sorry!”_ ) 

When he blinked, he was back at the Compound, on the floor, his head hiding in his knees and his hands covering his ears as he rocked back and forth. He wasn’t crying, but he couldn’t catch his breath. There were hands on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Tones. You’re at the Compound with me. It’s okay.” Rhodey. It was Rhodey.

“I can’t breathe,” he said, pathetic, whiny-

“Yes you can. Yes you can. You just think you can’t. Your brain is tripping you up, man. Just do what I’m doing, okay?”

Rhodey slowly peeled Tony’s hand away from his ear and put it on his chest. He then took an exaggerated deep breath. “See? You can definitely do that. I know you can. Wanna prove me right?”

Tony nodded, doing his best to breathe in with Rhodey. They sat like that for an indecipherable amount of time. They kept sitting, sitting, until Tony caught his breath. 

“God, that was inconvenient; I really wanted to,” Tony made a vague motion with his hand. “Stick it to that guy.”

Rhodey chuckled. “No worries. Bruce did that for you. It was funny to watch, actually. I always forget how much pent up anger that guy has.”

“Aw, did Brucie go green for me?”

“You wish.”

“I really do. It would be fucking hilarious.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked that chapter! My favorite part of writing this story is writing characters who normally wouldn't interact on screen talking, which is how we got a Bruce and Carol scene in this lol! I feel sort of bad for making Steve so mean in this but like....... not really? 
> 
> Anyway I just watched that deleted scene from Endgame where everyone kneeled after Tony died? and like? I don't really understand why it got deleted. My brother said it was too similar to the funeral scene, but I honestly would have preferred the kneeling one to the funeral where the actors clearly weren't told in advance they were going to a funeral? idk. the Russos seem to make some iffy decisions that lowkey make me want to scream into a pillow, you know?
> 
> PS: Sorry if you're getting a bunch of notifications from this story/the comments, I'm trying to change my pseud and it's more work than I anticipated:)
> 
> Okay. Sorry about that; I just needed to say it somewhere, you know? Please leave a comment if you want or kudos! The more positivity the more motivated I am to actually work on this story lol! Thanks for reading :)


	3. tony is for friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just wanted you to know that you have someone to talk to, here,” Natasha continued. There was an ache in her chest as she spoke, little fireworks of feeling that begged her to drop the act for once and be genuine. Show, don’t tell. “Someone’s who’s been through what you’ve been through. Who will understand.”

“Before,” Pepper started. “Before it all happened, you said you wanted kids.”

Before. Before seemed so long ago, now. It must have been centuries since Thanos snapped, millennia, because Tony felt like the hollow feeling in his chest had been there forever. It must have been forever since he had heard Peter’s voice, since he had ruffled his hair.

“Yeah.” Tony’s voice was barely a whisper. “I did.”

“Was that still something you were considering? It’s just… I feel like we got lucky, Tony. I know, I know, not lucky per se, but… We’re here. Both of us. Not many couples got that, you know.”

“I know. It’s just…” Tony took a breath. “It’s just-”

“Peter?” Pepper always looked at Tony so fondly, so softly; she made him feel like he might be okay someday. That look was on her face at that moment, the one that made him feel like everything would be alright if only he cherished her.

Tony nodded. “I… I failed him, Pep. I promised him, I promised him I would never let anything happen to him. I told him that I would always protect him, and I failed. He’s… He’s dead. He’s dead, and I couldn’t stop it. How could I bring another kid into this world if I can’t even protect them? And, even if we do get them back somehow…” Tony took a breath, before beginning to ramble on. “I don’t know, with him here, I don’t think I need anything else. Besides, we’ve never really actually talked about it until now, and we shouldn’t have a kid just because we feel lucky-”

“I get it. You’re right. If we decide to, it should be for the right reasons.” Tony nodded quickly, and Pepper sighed. “You have to know it’s not your fault, Tony.”

“Isn’t it?”

“It’s not. You can’t put the weight of the world on your shoulders. How many times do I need to tell you that?”

“Until it sticks.”

Tony sighed, massaging his temple. Pepper moved closer to him, allowing him to rest his head on her lap. If he was leaving tear stains on her pants, she didn’t have the heart to tease him for it.

“It shouldn’t be this way,” Tony said, his voice muffled. “I shouldn’t… Adults don’t outlive their kids. That’s not… It’s not supposed to happen like that. Right?”

“No. You’re right.”

“I can’t keep going like this. I… I build things, I try to help, but I just can’t focus. Every little thing in that stupid lab… I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s my fault. I know. I’m the hero. I’m supposed to get right back to work and save everybody, but I don’t know how, Pep.”

“It’s okay,” She whispered, running her fingers through his hair. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

\---

Speaking of kids, Peter was starting to get lonely. Cripplingly lonely. He could barely be alone for a day let alone however long it had been since Titan. There was no sign of the passage of time, and he never felt tired… It felt like forever, like an eternity had passed by and when Peter finally got out like he always did, there would be nothing left of Earth. It would have been destroyed because of stupid global warming, rebuilt by aliens, and then wiped back out again.

He was getting kind of stir crazy.

There was no need to worry, though, because Tony would come for him.

Tony would always come for him.

\---

Ava Starr was beginning to get desperate. Scott and the others were supposed to meet her weeks ago with the quantum particles, but no one had showed up. She had stopped by the lab, the Pyms’ house on the beach, Scott’s house, and even Hope’s new place. There was absolutely no one.

( _Cassie had looked crushed when Ava said she hadn’t seen Scott around._ )

All she knew was that their quantum traveling gear was still up on that roof, just like it was when Scott had traveled there to get the particles. She had almost stepped on the dust surrounding the machines. Still, she had to hope. She had to hope that someone out there somewhere could help her, whether they found her friend or got her the quantum particles she needed. She knew hope was dangerous, but without it, not much, if anything, remained for her.

She was unable to control her quantum shifting anymore, and it hurt, it hurt more than anything. It was so much worse than she remembered, and she certainly didn’t look back on the memories fondly. She needed someone, anyone, who could help her. She could barely even think; the pain was overwhelming.

She fell to the ground, wondering what would happen if it got so bad that she glitched right through it and materialized below the surface. Her gut reaction was to pull her knees to her chest and rock until the pain went away, but she found she couldn’t remain solid long enough to do so. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it would dull the awful feeling in her head.

When she opened her eyes again, there was an Iron Man suit standing in front of her.

“Don’t worry, miss. I am not going to hurt you,” it said. “You seem to be in need of medical assistance. Will you allow me to lead you to the Avengers Compound?”

( _Scott knew the Avengers, bragged about it constantly. Maybe they could help her._ )

She hesitated a moment.

“Yes.”

\---

“We need to talk.”

( _At the airport, all Tony had wanted to do was talk. Maybe even beg or plead, if that’s what it took. Keeping the team together was what was most important. Whatever it took. Whatever it took._ )

Tony barely even looked up from his tablet at the sound of Steve’s voice. He was the tiniest bit embarrassed he had an entire breakdown in front of the man yesterday, but Tony Stark was a man of iron. He was Iron Man, and Iron Man stood up to the bad guys.

“Funny.” He said. “ I don’t really have anything to say to you.”

Steve sighed. “Tony-”

“I meant it, Cap. I mean it. I’ve got nothing.”

“Then how about I talk and you listen?”

“Interesting. How about… you talk and I actively ignore you?”

“You know we can only save them if we’re together. Save him.”

Tony went rigid. How did he know about Peter? He wasn’t supposed to know because Tony had figured he’d say something stupid, something condescending, and guess what? Peter was Tony’s weakness, his vulnerability, and Steve was already preying on that like a fucking vulture. How had he even found out?

“Who told you? I haven’t told any of the more loose-lipped members of our party. Oh, did you bug the place? I honestly wouldn’t-”

“Bruce told me. When he was yelling at me the other day, which I deserved.”

Tony snorted.“I don’t want to talk to you about the kid, if that’s why you’re here. You can’t use his name against me. I’m not going to let you do that.”

“It’s not why I’m here. I wanted to apologize,” Steve said, his eyes full of sincerity.

The sincerity took him aback. It always did, even more so when he didn’t see it coming. Tony wanted to believe him, he really did.

( _He saw his mother, in the passenger’s seat, her face streaked with blood. He saw Bucky’s hand around his father’s neck. He saw the gun shooting out the camera, he saw… Steve, who knew, who didn’t tell him, and maybe all of this could have been avoided if he had just told him-_ )

Tony turned off his tablet. He looked up at Steve, raising an eyebrow. “Well, go on, then.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t… I’ve never really lost before, and… I didn’t know how to handle it. Sam’s gone, and he’s the one who usually talks some sense into me. I took it out on you. Treated you like a human punching bag. I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony was tired. So, so tired. He was too tired to talk about the old wounds that had opened up in the face of Steve’s betrayal. Too tired to talk about how much his mother had meant to him. Too tired to talk about how fucking ironic it was that Cap knew Howard was murdered and didn’t say anything about it. Too goddamn tired.

“That’s Stark to you, Cap. Tony’s for friends.”

“Tony, please-”

“Stark,” Tony said, his voice dark. It would have maybe even been threatening if his shoulders weren’t still set in defense at the mention of Peter.

“I’m sorry about it all, okay? I’m sorry. What more do you want me to say?” Steve was growing impatient.

“I just want you to know that the only reason I’m even half accepting your apology is for Peter. It’s not for you. It’s for him. Anything to get him back. Anything. But after it’s over? We’re done. You’re gone. I don’t want to see you. No anniversary dinners. No grabbing a beer. No ice skating trips down in Siberia. Done.”

Steve sighed deeply.

“Deal.”

\---

Nebula wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself around the Compound. She was friends with Tony, yes, but whenever she thought to approach him, she noticed how tired he looked. Nebula didn’t really know how to deal with that kind of tired, so she thought it better to distract herself some other way. She’d also acquainted herself with Rhodey, Tony’s best friend. 

( _Her hand was growing stiff. Her joints needed repair. Nebula was old enough to know how to do the job herself, and Rhodey had shown up when she was nearly done. He watched quietly, maybe waiting for her to finish. She wasn’t certain why he would want to talk to her, though._

_“I wasn’t always like this,” She said, turning her head just enough that she could see him out of her peripheral vision._

_He gave her a sad smile. “Me neither. But, we work with what we got, right?”_ )

Nebula wasn’t great at making friends, so she did what she could to simply gravitate between the three people at the Compound she knew. However, on this day, Rocket was prepping Tony’s new round of suits to be sent off for relief efforts, Rhodey was off meeting with the U.S. government about allocating more to account for all the new orphans that came about due to the Snap, and Tony… Well, Pepper had told the Avengers that Tony had a fever, so that meant he was thinking about Peter. He’d already told her his sob story and she’d told him hers, so she didn’t think there was really anything else she could do for the man at the moment. She didn’t know how to deal with emotions like that considering she was punished for even having them in the past.

She was busying herself working on improving the parts of her hand when someone pulled up a stool and sat across from her at the lab table. She paused her work, hesitating a moment before looking up at the newcomer. There sat Natasha, Black Widow, looking absolutely exhausted.

“What do you want?” Nebula asked. See? She wasn’t great at the whole ‘friends’ thing.

“To talk to you,” Nat replied as if it was the simplest question in the world. Who knows? Maybe, right at that moment, it was.

Nebula slowly put down her screwdriver, eyeing Natasha closely. “Why?”

“What, you can’t believe that I would want to be your friend?” She asked. Her voice wasn’t even the tiniest bit offended.

“No.”

Natasha smiled. “Smart. No wonder the others have taken a liking to you.”

“They have?” Her voice was more suspicious than actually curious.

“Yes.”

Nebula pursed her lips, squinting at Natasha as if that would help her read the woman more easily.. “You’re sure you’re not just telling me what I want to hear?”

“Maybe.” Natasha seemed impressed, or as impressed someone with a blank slate for an expression could look. Nebula knew what it was like better than anyone to feel like a blank slate. She was that way, too: unreadable. Cryptic. Intimidating. 

“I know who you are, Widow. I know how you operate,” Nebula said, her voice chilling. “You’ll say whatever you have to in order to make me trust you, and then you’ll take what you want from me. So what is it? What do you want?”

“You told us about how you grew up. With Thanos. How he tore you apart and put you back together again.”

“And what about it?”

Natasha blinked. It was clear that she wasn’t used to situations like this; she wasn’t used to being known, understood. “I went through something similar. With Red Room.”

The blank expression seemed to be teetering on the edge of sadness. Her eyes drooped the tiniest bit, the corners of her lips sagging downward like Atlas holding the weight of the world. Natasha didn’t need to speak; everything she was going to say was obvious just in the shine of her eyes. Watching her pupils drop to the table between them was like watching a movie; she saw it all, heard it all. Trauma, so much trauma, culminating in the woman sitting before her. Nebula figured she might not have noticed had she not been so adept in the art of feeling ‘nothing.’

“I’m sorry,” Nebula said. Her shoulders relaxed a bit. Natasha watched them do so, exhaling softly. It was a relief, somehow, that it was clear she wasn’t lying. “No one should have to live like that.”

“I just wanted you to know that you have someone to talk to, here,” Natasha continued. There was an ache in her chest as she spoke, little fireworks of feeling that begged her to drop the act for once and be genuine. Show, don’t tell. “Someone’s who’s been through what you’ve been through. Who will understand.”

To any onlooker or eavesdropper, their words would have sounded empty, counterfeit, maybe, but the conversation was anything but. Any communication occurring between the two took place between their eyes. It took place in the droop of their shoulders, the volume of their breaths, the measured glances they took at each other. Maybe the conversation was so overwhelming that this was the only way it could be had at all without one of them drowning in it.

“It looks like you need someone like that, too.”

Natasha just stared at her.

“We’re the same. The only difference is my experience manifested in some anger issues, while yours just… took you away.”

“Took me away?”

Nebula shrugged. “You’re gone, aren’t you?”

Natasha considered this a moment. “I don’t… know.”

“That is what happened to me, too, until I found my sister. There must be something holding you back.”

Natasha’s eyes drifted to Nebula’s head, her new gold piece, specifically. “Thanos didn’t give you that.” Instead of a question, it was a statement requiring confirmation.

“No. The piece Thanos gave me was broken. Tony fixed it.”

“Hm.” Natasha may have been trained in hiding her emotions, but she seemed almost disappointed in this revelation. Nebula figured it wasn’t too much of a logical jump to assume that she was disappointed in herself rather than Tony. Maybe she regretted leaving him alone or thinking that he didn’t care. It was okay, though. Truth is subjective, she remembered someone saying. Natasha had known Tony while he was in his bad place. Nebula had never known Tony to do anything but care.

“Thanos wasn’t always so bad,” she said, though she was not quite sure why she felt the need to do so. It was true, though. He was her father. She may have hated him with absolutely everything she had, but he was still her father. In an awful way, she missed him. She missed the good memories, the very, very few good memories.

“They never are.” The response was so quick, as if it was prepared. Maybe Natasha had known Nebula was going to say something like that.

“Whenever I lost, whenever he was putting me back together, he’d… hold my hand, and tell me a story. I hated him, I hated him, and I wanted him to leave, but he wouldn’t let go. He would just tell me a story, always the same story.”

“What was it about?” Natasha had clearly adapted into the role of intent listener, her head resting on her hand as she kept her eyes on Nebula.

“He said someday, we would go somewhere where we couldn’t feel pain anymore. He’d save us, and we’d go with him to the end of the universe, where the stars are the brightest. He said we wouldn’t need to fight anymore, Gamora and I, because all the world’s problems would be solved.” Nebula clenched her hands into fists, hoping for a release of some sorts. “He told us we would be happy, and for years, despite what he put me through, I believed him.”

Natasha’s expression had faded into something fuzzy at the edges. Her mouth was slightly open, as if she wanted to speak but was still thinking of exactly what to say. ( _Nebula thought it actually looked like the expression of someone who was dead and/or dying, but she didn’t find this appropriate for the current situation_.) Her eyebrows were wrinkled just slightly. “He’d save you, and you’d go to the end of the universe? Where the stars are the brightest?”

“That was the story, yes.”

The redhead’s eyes widened in recognition. “The end of the universe, where the stars are the brightest.”

“Romanoff-”

“That’s where he is. Right now. With the stones.” Natasha stood quickly, one hand on her stool to keep it from toppling over.

“His Titan II,” Nebula said, her voice soft in realization. “At the end of the universe, where- I know where he is. I know where he is.”

Natasha grinned then, her face slightly smug as if this had been what she was planning all along. Like she had inserted the knife hours ago, and now, the blade was free again, the blood leaking. “I think it’s time we call a meeting, don’t you?” 

\---

“You look exhausted.”

Thor looked up at the sound of the voice. Bruce was smiling softly down at him, his hands awkwardly toying with the bottom of his shirt. He had always been an anxious man, but losing to Thanos in such an awful way certainly didn’t help.

“Yes, well, there is nothing for you to worry about, Banner. I will be okay once we finally confront Thanos again.”

Thor had plastered the fakest of smiles on his face, desperately hoping that his eyes would at least sort of go along with it. The wary expression Bruce wore confirmed that this had not gone very well.

“I mean, I get that, but…” Bruce trailed off, sighing. “Do you want to talk about it? Keeping those things to yourself is never a good idea, pal.”

Thor allowed the smile to fall from his face, his eyes dropping to the floor. “What is there to talk about? The people you lost… It can be undone. But mine? My people? Heimdall, Loki, Odin, Frigga… They were slaughtered. You are all holding on to this hope, to get revenge, to bring them back, and I don’t have that option anymore. I had my chance at revenge. I could have killed him, Banner. My people would not have died in vain, but… It’s too late, now. Some king I was.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it? I had him. I had him. I could’ve done what he said. I could’ve gone for his head.”

“Yeah? Wanda could have focused her powers on the gauntlet. Do you blame her?”

“No-”

“Steve could’ve never gone anywhere. Never went rogue. Do you blame him?”

“...No.”

“Tony could’ve killed Thanos in space. Strange didn’t have to give up the time stone. Loki didn’t have to steal the Tesseract. Hulk didn’t have to go into hiding. Do you blame us?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, why do you blame yourself? It’s just as much our fault as it is yours. We all made mistakes, but you can’t carry around guilt like that. It’ll drive you crazy. Of course, I’m not a grief counselor-”

“It’s okay, Banner.” Thor mustered up a smile, small but real, and placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “I always appreciate our little talks.” Before Bruce could answer, the door slammed open, and Thor’s hand was gone. 

“Good to see you, dear rabbit! What do you need?”

“It’s Thanos!” Rocket declared. “Cyborg told us where he’d likely be hangin’ out. We’re gonna fly out there, and we’re gonna kill him. You in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i hope you guys liked this chapter! i know natasha's personality is kind of different in this, but considering they give her a personality-makeover in every movie she's in, i kinda wanted to write a version of winter soldier nat so that's what i did! i also was super excited to include ava in this even if i didn't get her characterization spot on! i hate to consider what might have happened to her during those five years scott was in the quantum realm (honestly turning to dust would've been what is best for her rip)... anyway i really loved thor and bruce in ragnarok and since they definitely got closer there i wanted that to reflect in their dynamic!
> 
> anyway, as per usual, i just wrote this for fun! your positive comments make my day! see you next week for the next update:)


	4. consider it a gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This isn’t goodbye, Pep,” Tony said, his hands on his fiancee’s shoulders.
> 
> “I know.”
> 
> “You do?”
> 
> “Well, you just said that this isn’t goodbye, and I know how much you hate being wrong, so you wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.”
> 
> “That’s right. I’ll… see you on the flip side, I guess.”
> 
> “See you on the flip side.”
> 
> “I love you.”
> 
> “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I've decided I'm going to attempt to update more frequently? because I have a lot of this pre-written already so it shouldn't be that hard for me to keep up, but we'll see how that goes;)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! There's a lot of Tony and Peter scenes in this one, so... That's cool. And finally there's an action sequence! I hope you like it!:)

Surely, Peter Parker had been through enough trauma in his life.

Firstly, his parents died when he was six, and honestly? Shouldn’t that already be enough trauma for one person? For one kid? He still remembered that night. He had just been watching TV, eating some mac and cheese when May and Ben had turned the show off, sad looks on their faces. He remembered their funeral. He remembered that he didn’t really understand what was going on. He never really got it until a week or so later, when he had asked May when Mommy would be coming home so they could go to the playground like she had promised. 

( _May had taken him to the playground. Ben pushed him on the swing. Peter had tried to go on the monkey bars, and fallen after the second one. The mulch felt like broken glass on his skin. He missed his dad, who would hold him so he never fell. He started crying, though at the time he wasn’t quite sure why._ )

As if that shit wasn’t enough, Ben had to die, too, right in front of him, when Peter probably could’ve saved him if the whole spider-bite incident had been, like, a week earlier. But no, the universe had it out for Peter, so instead of having a first hero experience, he had to watch as his uncle bled out in his arms. Goddamn Parker luck is what it was. This time, he was old enough to understand. He was old enough to not get a full night’s sleep for exactly seven months and five days. Of course, the nightmares never really stopped, but Peter learned to deal with them. He remembered that funeral clear as day. He remembered all the pitying looks he received from near strangers. He remembered Ned putting a caring hand on his back as Peter bawled his eyes out in front of the casket.

( _Peter went back to the playground that night. It was closed for the night, but that didn’t really matter because it was the middle of the winter, anyway. He sat on the swing, but he didn’t have the heart to kick his feet. May sat on the neighboring swing._

_“Peter-”_

_“Why does this always happen to me?” He cried._

_“It’s not your fault-”_

_“I could’ve- I could’ve pushed him out of the way, could’ve called the police, anything-”_

_“It’s not your fault, Peter.”_

_“When I love someone, they die.” He said. “You should get away while you can.”_

_May had stood up and walked over to him then, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m not leaving you. I’m never leaving you. You’re stuck with me.”_

_Peter wanted to laugh, but deep down, he knew. He knew that the bad stuff followed him wherever he went. It would come again, eventually._ )

On top of that, he had been bitten by a radioactive spider, buried under a building, nearly killed countless times, and his girlfriend’s dad had turned out to be an evil villain who wanted to literally murder Peter for thwarting his plans. So you see, his life had been bad enough. Maybe the universe didn’t care because it never thought to throw him a break. He was seventeen, for God’s sake. But no, no, Peter doesn’t deserve a break. He doesn’t deserve anything but suffering because it doesn’t matter how much he gives and gives to the world; it only takes, takes, takes, takes, and takes.

And now, now, it was taking from him again. This time, it was getting in his head, eating away at his sanity, driving him out of his mind. Peter couldn’t be alone anymore, couldn’t take it. Something had to give. Something had to change. There was no way… Was this Hell? Had Peter died and gone to Hell? He wasn’t quite sure what he would’ve done to get there, but… He wouldn’t put it past himself to get inadvertently sent to Hell.

It was hard. It was harder than anything Peter had done before. He tried to distract himself, tell himself that Tony was coming, because Tony said he would never let anything happen to Peter. He had said that, word for word, and he was no liar. 

( _It was on December 16th, the December before everything had gone wrong, what with Thanos showing up and all._

_Tony had been sad, sad in a way that Peter recognized. His face was the same face Peter saw in the mirror when he couldn’t sleep on the anniversary of Ben’s death. He had wondered if Tony had somewhere… A playground._

_The two arrived at the long abandoned playground at approximately 12:04 A.M.._

_“Why did you bring me here? Needed a partner for the seesaw?” Tony joked. It, as expected, fell flat._

_“I’ve been here twice,” Peter answered. “Once after my parents died, and once after Ben.”_

_“Why are we here today? Are you okay? Did something happen?”_

_“I’m fine, but… you had that look on your face. I know… I know you’ve been through some stuff, Mr. Stark, and… It didn’t look like you had anywhere to go, if that makes sense, so we’re here. I mean, your lab is nice and all, but I don’t really think that distracting yourself with some project is the best way to feel better.”_

_Tony seemed taken aback. “Oh,” he said._

_“You don’t have to talk about it, obviously, I just… I wanted you to know.”_

_“Know what?” Tony’s fingers moved purposelessly. He seemed to wish he had something to toy around with._

_Peter shrugged, his voice shaking a bit as he spoke. “You’re important… to me. I’m… You’re… You’re a great mentor to me, Mr. Stark, and I… I want you to be happy… I guess.” Though the delivery of the words was awkward at best, the kid was able to get his point across._

_Tony inhaled sharply. It was clear that he had no idea how to handle this situation. “Oh. That’s… That’s… a lot.”_

_Peter laughed. Embarrassment flushed his cheeks. “Yeah, sorry, I know you don’t do the-”_

_“Don’t apologize. I’m…” Tony hesitated, biting his tongue in thought.. “I’m real glad you think I’m a great mentor because I feel like I’ve been pretty shit at it.” He cringed. “Don’t say shit.”_

_“Mr. Stark-”_

_“Nuh-uh. I’m talking. Meeting you was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. You’re like a kid to me… No, that’s-My kid. You’re like my kid… to me.” Mr. Stark paused again, taking a breath. For a man usually so eloquent with words, he seemed to be having some trouble. Eventually, he decided on something that would summarize all of it: “You know that I’d never let anything happen to you, right?”_

_Peter nodded, and Mr. Stark held out his arms in some sort of invitation; Peter cocked his head in confusion. “What… What are you doing?”_

_“Really? Some genius you are. Sorry, joke. Anyway, it’s hug time, kid. Yes, we’re there. This is probably the only time this will ever happen, so enjoy it while it lasts.”_

_And despite pretending that the whole action had been done begrudgingly, Tony had hugged him tight, whispering a quiet thanks in Peter’s ear._ )

Now, there was no playground nor Tony; there was just Peter, and that didn’t really feel like enough.

\---

“This isn’t goodbye, Pep,” Tony said, his hands on his fiancee’s shoulders.

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Well, you just said that this isn’t goodbye, and I know how much you hate being wrong, so you wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.”

“That’s right. I’ll… see you on the flip side, I guess.”

“See you on the flip side.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

\---

“Okay,” Rocket started. “who here hasn’t been to space?”

Tony clenched his jaw as Nat, Steve, and Rhodey raised their hands. “Why?”

“You better not throw up on my ship,” Rocket said, shooting death glares at his passengers.

“Approaching jump in 3… 2… 1…”

\---

Carol didn’t know what she expected when she showed up to the planet Thanos was supposedly resigning on. Maybe it would be filled with millions of soldiers, all given the job of protecting Thanos. Maybe he had set up a complicated machine rig that would blow up any spaceship that came too close.

When they got there, however, all she saw was nothing. There was a nice field full of a fruit that was very popular in this portion of the universe. A little shack overlooked everything. Carol wondered if Thanos could even fit his head through the door without ducking down. 

She had her doubts about Thanos truly being there until she saw him in the middle of the fields of fruit, burns crawling up his arm as he collected what was supposedly his next meal. Carol figured she had seen enough and flew back up to the Avengers’ spaceship.

“No satellites, no ships, no armies, no ground defenses of any kind. It’s just him.”

Most of the heroes gazed at her confusedly, as if she must be mistaken. Tony still looked distracted, his face pale and his eyes stuck on the ground. Nebula appeared stoic as she spoke up:

“Then that’s enough.”

\---

As the Avengers approached the cottage in the middle of the field, Tony wasn’t quite sure what to feel. As much as he wanted to quell it, bright, aching hope danced through his chest. This was their chance. They could get the Infinity Stones, and they could bring everyone back. They could bring Peter back, finally. On the other hand, Tony was also feeling very afraid. As mentioned before, this was their chance, their one chance. If they blew it, that would mean Peter was really gone and never coming back. That hope might be the very thing that destroyed him in the end.

He didn’t bother taking in the scenery. He knew that whatever it was would probably end up haunting his nightmares anyway. 

( _The nightmares, we should note, were getting progressively worse. Every time Tony so much as blinked, he saw Peter’s dying face. He felt Cap’s shield crashing through his chest. He felt the knife, his own knife, sliding through his stomach in a way that felt final. He would wake up sputtering, gasping for breath. Pepper would rub his shoulders, comforting him softly. It always made him feel even worse._ )

“Tony,” Rhodey said from by his side, snapping him out of his trance. “We got this, okay?”

Tony quickly wiped any worry that may have been present from his face. “Yeah. ‘Course we do.”

“Alright, everyone,” Bruce’s voice came through the comms. “We all know the plan, right?”

“Yep,” Carol responded. “We only listened to you go through it, like, a hundred times.”

Tony snorted.

“Danvers is right,” Steve added. “Let’s get into position.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Carol flew over to the roof of the cottage, waiting still as everyone moved into position. Tony and Rhodey situated themselves near a window, ready to blast through. Bruce prepped himself and the Hulkbuster suit on the other side, hoping to hold Thanos’ other hand down to prevent him from fighting back. Thor would follow in after him. The other Avengers readied themselves by the door, ready to provide any backup needed.

“On three,” Steve said. “One, two-”

“Three,” Carol interrupted, punching her way through the roof and hitting Thanos with the most powerful photon blast she could muster.

Tony and Rhodey burst in from the window, Rhodey holding the gauntlet open as Tony deployed a little drone that would force the Titan to hold his hand open. Bruce came in through the other side, grabbing Thanos’ free hand and pinning it to the floor. Thor followed suit, his eyes glowing with the threat of lightning. The other Avengers knocked down the door, entering the room wearing their best angry faces.

“Give us the gauntlet,” Carol said, her voice murderous. “or I’ll burn your head off. Trust me, it’s really not as fun as I make it out to be.”

Thanos huffed in frustration, slowly beginning to clench his fingers on his gauntlet hand. The drone strained under the pressure, little cracks materializing across its surface.. “You cannot bring them back.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony said. “And why is that?”

“Because,” Thanos swept his eyes across the room, taking into account the amount of danger from the current threat. “The stones will be gone.”

“What are you-” Steve started to say. He was interrupted by the awful sound of the drone cracking into pieces in Thanos’ grip. He quickly pushed Rhodey to the side, flicking Hulkbuster off of him as if he was a tiny insect rather than a huge robot. He pried Carol’s arms off his neck, ignoring all the burn damage that was being done to his fingers. Using the power stone, he launched her across the cottage and into the wall.

Time seemed to move in slow motion for Tony as he watched all of this occur. Thanos wiped out the standing Avengers all in one fell swoop. Tony, however, had just enough time to flip around to the other side, grabbing the gauntlet and pulling with all of his might. He even activated his thrusters, attempting to fly away with the gauntlet in his hands.

“I’d advise you let go, Stark. I don’t want to go back on the deal I made with the Doctor.” He pried Tony’s fingers off the palm of the gauntlet. 

Tony, however, grabbed its wrist near the edge, and began pulling again. “And to think,” he said. “I just thought we were playing a nice game of tug-of-war. My bad.”

“Let go right now, or I will be forced to kill you.”

Tony shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone told me they were going to kill me. Pretty sure I’m still standing, though. Think this is the end of my bad luck streak?”

Thanos sighed, and then the time stone began glowing green. Suddenly, Tony couldn’t move. He and the other Avengers were frozen in place. However, Tony seemed to be the only one aware of the freeze in time, as he could still think, talk, and look around.

“Let go, Stark.” Thanos sounded more tired than anything else.

“Never.”

“You know,” Thanos said. “We are the only two people cognizant of this moment. They would never know any better if you wanted to let go. You could tell them all I used the power stone. Preserve your dignity.”

“I’m not doing this for dignity,” Tony said through gritted teeth. “I’m doing this for Peter.”

Thanos’ eyes softened somewhat. His expression filled with pity, and he cocked his head in recognition. “You lost your child?”

Anger coursed through Tony’s veins. “You killed him, and you didn’t even know? You killed him, and it mattered so little to you that you just forgot?”

“Oh, Stark. I can’t know billions of creatures personally. Some get… forgotten.”

“Forgotten? I had to watch him die all because of you, and you get to forget? I would give anything to see him again. Anything.”

Thanos nodded. “I understand. My Gamora-”

“You don’t. You can’t understand. You killed Gamora!”

“I had to!” Thanos shouted, before biting his tongue and calming himself down. “I had to. I loved her, but it was the only way to complete my plan.”

Tony shook his head. “If you really loved her, you wouldn’t have done it.”

“So you’re saying you would give up your dreams for this Peter character?”

Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t have to. My dream… I want to watch him grow up. Graduate high school. College. Get married, if he’s into that kind of thing. I want him to be happy.”

Thanos took a breath, contemplating this. “Would you give up your life to see him?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Thanos nodded. “Then I shall do you a favor.”

“What? What are you-”

Time sped up again, and all of a sudden, Thanos was snapping his fingers.

“No!” Bruce shouted.

“-talking about? I don’t want your favors-”

( _It was three months after the Vulture fiasco, about a year and a half before Thanos. Peter was sitting alone on the rooftop of the new Avengers Compound, his feet dangling dangerously over the edge. Tony watched him from further back on the roof, trying to figure out the best way to get his attention._

_After May had found out Peter was Spider-Man, she had decided that Peter would start spending more time at the Compound in order to upgrade his suit and learn to be a better fighter. Tony had decided he was done trying to keep Peter at bay when all the kid seemed to want to do was break down all the walls Tony had so carefully erected, so he acquiesced, albeit nervously._

_Although they weren’t at peak comfort yet, the awkwardness and tension that had been hanging in the air when lab nights first began had dulled down considerably. Tony could handle time in the lab, but he wasn’t quite sure what to do when Peter was twiddling his thumbs rather precariously a couple hundred feet off the ground._

_He decided that, first things first, he should alert Peter of his presence. He cleared his throat, and the kid quickly whipped his head around to look at his mentor._

_“Didn’t mean to scare you,” Tony said, raising his hands in a faux display of guilt. “Thought your Peter Tingle would tell you I was here.”_

_Peter smiled a bit, but it quickly disappeared. “You know I hate when you call it that, Mr. Stark.”_

_“Oh, yeah, because Spidey Sense is so much better. Also, May pitched Peter Tingle. I had nothing to do with it.”_

_The kid scoffed before turning his gaze back to the night sky. “It doesn’t go off if I’m not in danger. While it is a bit creepy, I don’t think you spying on me counts as a mortal threat.”_

_“Hey, I wasn’t spying on you. I was just… lurking creepily in the shadows while thinking of a way to approach you that wouldn’t end with you teetering over the edge.”_

_“I wouldn’t fall, Mr. Stark. I’ve got sticky hands, remember?”_

_“Yeah, yeah.” Tony paused for a moment, walking a bit closer to Peter. “Mind if I sit?”_

_“Of course not.” Peter scooched over a bit, as if there wasn't already plenty of space for Tony._

_Tony sat down about a foot from Peter, worried about sitting too close. “Whatcha’ doing up here?”_

_“Thinking.”_

_“Rooftops aren’t exactly the best place for contemplation, kiddo.”_

_“I know, I just… Didn’t want to be inside anymore.”_

_“Can I ask why or is that overstepping? Say the word and these lips are zipped shut.” Tony pretended to lock up his lips and throw away the key._

_Peter laughed a bit before his face fell right back down. “Remember when I fought that guy with the wings? When I took down that plane and saved all your stuff?”_

_“How could I? You bring it up at least once a visit.”_

_“I do not.”_

_“Do too.”_

_“Anyway,” Peter declared loudly, sending Tony a humorous glare before getting back to his story. “You know how you found that warehouse completely collapsed?”_

_Tony did not like where this story was going. “Yes?”_

_“Well,” Peter hesitated a beat. “Me and Ned had been using my phone to track Vulture because I left it in his car when he took me to the dance. The location… It was parked at that warehouse. He knew I was going to follow him there. He must’ve known. I… I walked in, all confident, because he must have thought I was going to let it go.”_

_Tony took a breath, already plotting the murder of that guy in his head. He didn’t interrupt Peter’s story, though._

_“I… He shot his wings at me, or something, I don’t really remember. I dodged them, and I felt… I felt so good about myself, like… I was able to do it, even without my good suit. But then… the pillars all collapsed.” Peter’s voice cracked. Tony was horrified when he looked up to see tears in the kid’s eyes. “The building fell on me. The entire roof. I didn’t have the suit, I didn’t have Karen. I screamed, but there was no one who could hear me. I thought I was going to die.”_

_“Kid…”_

_“Then I remembered what you told me. About how if I’m nothing without the suit, I shouldn’t have it. So I lifted up the rubble, and I chased after him.”_

_“You… You lifted up the rubble?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Jesus. Pete…” Tony paused, biting his tongue for a moment in thought before speaking up again. “I am so sorry.”_

_Peter looked up at Tony then, looking shocked. “What? Why?”_

_“I took your suit. It’s my fault. If you had the suit, Karen would’ve called me, or been there for moral support or something-”_

_“It’s not your fault I got myself buried, Mr. Stark.”_

_“Pete, I was the one who took the suit from you, and I promise I’ll never do that again.You shouldn’t have been put in that position to begin with.”_

_“No, Mr. Stark. It’s what you said that convinced me that I could get out of there. That if I was nothing without the suit, I shouldn’t have it. You were right. I just… Sometimes I feel a bit stuck if I’ve been inside for too long. That’s all.”_

_“God. You’re way too young for trauma.”_

_Although there were still tears on his cheeks, Peter found himself laughing. “Seriously.”_

_The two laughed for a minute before they were enveloped in silence._

_“Hey, Peter, look at me a minute,” Tony said, his voice quieter than it was before._

_Peter obeyed, looking into Tony’s eyes with his own teary ones._

_“You don’t have to be afraid of getting stuck while I’m around. I’m not gonna let you die.”_

_Peter seemed taken aback by this statement, as he stared at Tony with a certain disbelief in his eyes._

_“Here,” Tony said, reaching into the pocket on the inside of his blazer and pulling out a sleek looking watch. It had been sitting there for a while as Tony waited for the perfect moment to hand it over. He had wanted Peter to get that look he always got where he remembered he was in the presence of Tony Stark, the billionaire/superhero, but that didn’t seem so important anymore. He hesitated only a moment before presenting it to Peter. “It looks like your average, everyday fancy watch, but there’s a panic button. You press here three times in a row, and I’ll be there.”_

_“Mr. Stark-”_

_“I’ll always find you if you’re in a tricky spot. You always have a way out, okay?”_

_Peter opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again. “You don’t have to do me any favors,” he eventually decided on._

_“I know. This isn’t a favor. Consider it a gift for being my favorite intern.”_

_“I’m your only intern.”_

_“Exactly.”_

_Peter laughed, his eyes shining. “Thank you.”_

_“No problem, kiddo.”_ )

Although the other Avengers would swear the world flashed white, for Tony, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)  
> Hope you guys liked this chapter! If you couldn't tell I really wanted to write some Tony and Peter when I got around to this chapter, so this is the result! I think I might have softened Tony up too much but like. Too late now I guess haha. Feel free to leave a comment if you want! All your comments literally make my day!!:)
> 
> Anyway, I'll probably release the next chapter sometime over the weekend or early next week maybe! Thanks so much for reading!


	5. i find your lack of faith disturbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey,” he said, his voice broken. He had texted Nebula on the Stark Phone she still wasn’t quite sure how to use, asking her if she wanted to hang out for a bit. She didn’t say no because she didn’t really know anyone else in the Compound, and she actually kind of enjoyed his company. She would never tell him that, though. “Have you ever seen Star Wars?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up: i did absolutely no research to try to figure out the science of this so. if i say something and it makes no sense just. pretend it makes sense. please and thank you:)
> 
> this chapter is longer than the other ones i think? which is cool. a lot happens? kinda wanted to put the end part in the next chapter but. whatever. this one is also heavy on the irondad (both with peter and nebula i guess?) so. heads up there.
> 
> ALSO this chapter kind of has a trigger warning? i guess it implies very briefly that a character was having suicidal thoughts? i'll say exactly what happens at the top of the end notes so. if you want to know to see if it's okay to read it check that out. 
> 
> anyway thanks so much for your continued interest in this story! your comments and kudos keep me going:)

Thanos’ arm and all the way up the side of his face was charred; it smelled like rotting flesh. The stones which were previously held in the gauntlet were nowhere to be seen. However, no one was really looking at Thanos in that moment.

Tony had gone completely silent, a stark difference from his previous shouting. His suit seemed to have disappeared, as Tony was standing there with no armor, looking too vulnerable. The veins of his hand, the one that was still resting atop the gauntlet, were glowing in all the colors of the rainbow. He stood perfectly still for a second, disturbingly still, as if his life were flashing before his eyes (three months after the Vulture fiasco a year and a half before-), before collapsing to the ground, his eyes rolled back in his head.

“Tony!” Someone shouted.

Rhodey and Carol were both by his side in an instant, pulling him away from the Mad Titan, who was standing over them with a peaceful look upon his face. Carol hated the way Tony’s head lolled this way and that as they dragged him across the floor of the house Thanos had made for himself.

“Oh no,” Rocket said, his eyes on the empty gauntlet.

“Where are they?” Steve asked, his voice full of grief.

“Answer the question!” Carol sneered, looking the monster in the eyes as Rhodey tried to shake Tony awake.

“The universe required correction.”

Rocket scoffed, and Steve visibly tightened his jaw.

“After that,” Thanos continued. “The stones served no purpose, beyond temptation.”

“You murdered trillions!”

“You should be grateful.”

“Where are the stones?” Natasha asked, her breath shaking.

“Gone. Back where the Universe intended.”

“The Hell is that supposed to mean?” Rhodey asked, frustrated tears gleaming in his eyes.

“Spread across the universe, I assume. I did not need anything else from them.”

“What about him? Huh?” Carol’s voice was raised as she took a step closer to the Titan. “He’s not part of your one-half, save-the-world bullshit. What was that?”

Thanos looked down at Tony’s unconscious form. “I did him a favor,” he said.

“Bullshit!” Rocket declared. “He looks like he’s fucking dead! What did you do?”

A morbid, condescending look rested on the monster’s face as he spoke up again. “He did say he would like to see his child, right? I simply made his wish for him. I assume the only place for it to come true would be in the land of the dead, but I would never have intentionally killed Stark. We had a deal.”

“He… He has to be lying. He can’t be dead,” Rhodey said. “FRIDAY, is there a pulse?”

“My father is many things,” Nebula responded. “A liar is not one of them.”

“ _Boss appears to have a heartbeat and is breathing normally, but brain activity is critically low._ ”

Thanos completely ignored the AI, keeping his attention on Nebula. “Ah, thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly.”

Before Thor could properly think about what he was doing, Stormbreaker was in his hand and he was swinging it right at Thanos’ head. It fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Blood splattered and made its way onto Nebula’s face, onto the new part Tony had crafted for her head. It felt deliberate, somehow, like a sign. Nebula did not like its implications, especially as the man in question lay in a heap with rainbow in his veins.

Maybe Thanos was always meant to pull Tony down to the underground with him.

“What…” Rocket trailed off. This was the first time Nebula had ever seen him at a loss for words. “What did you do?”

An empty sort of look crept over the god’s face as Bruce gazed at him worriedly. 

“I went for the head,” he said simply, definitively, before turning and walking out of the building.

\---

This time, Rhodey was the one to lug Tony’s unconscious form back to the ship. Nebula threatened to kill him if he so much as let one of Tony’s toes hit the ground.

\---

Thor approached Nebula on the ship at some point on the journey back towards Earth. She had been standing in the doorway to the room where Tony was resting, pretending not to care as much as she truly did.

“I am deeply sorry,” He said, unable to meet Nebula’s eyes. “Killing him was… It wasn’t my place. It should’ve been you, if anyone. I know how hard evil family members can be. I can always try to help you, if you need it.”

Nebula remembered what Tony had told her about playing it cool with the other Avengers. He had told her that they didn’t look like it, but they could and would turn on teammates with little to no persuasion. He had gone on about Stark Charm, and how he always wore a mask in front of others to keep bad things from happening. She completely understood this, as she had been present for one or two of those bad things.

“Thank you,” she said, voice just flat enough that it didn’t sound genuine. Luckily, Thor didn’t really seem to get that. “He deserved it, but-”

“But you wanted to deliver the final strike.” Thor nodded, a sad smile on his face. “I sincerely apologize. I did not think before attacking.”

“Don’t let it keep you up at night.” Nebula said. Thor seemed to get that she didn’t want to have this conversation anymore, so he gave her one final nod before turning and walking away.

She glanced over the rest of the ship. Avengers were scattered all around. When she was younger and had first heard of the Avengers, the heroes from Earth who defeated Thanos’ space fleet, she had been impressed. She figured the only team who could beat her father was a tight-knit team, a group of people who knew each other better than they knew themselves. But now, looking over them all…

Rocket was sitting alone in the pilot seat. Carol sat in the passenger’s seat, uncharacteristically quiet, her eyes on the stars. Steve was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed in frustration and maybe grief. Natasha had a hand on his shoulder. Thor had gone over to Bruce on the opposite end of the ship. Out of all of them, Rhodey was the only one by Tony’s side.

Some team, they were. 

( _Nebula remembered one day right after they had landed on Earth, day 24, maybe. Tony had been having a bad day. Well, most of the days in the first week were bad days. When she found him, he was sitting on the floor of his lab, surrounded by various parts of technology even she couldn’t identify. There was a broken mug in the corner, like Tony had chucked it across the room in a fit of rage. There were papers littered with equations, some circled hastily or scribbled out until they were unintelligible, and empty cups of coffee surrounding the entire room._

_He was still thin; he had to roll around an IV with him wherever he went. Bruce had wanted him to stay in MedBay for another day, but, once Tony got his head on straight, he wasn’t one to give a single shit about his own well-being when there were people to save, especially if one of those people was Peter. He had shaved, though, if only because he told Cap that he needed to, and he didn’t want to be a liar or anything._

_“Hey,” he said, his voice broken. He had texted Nebula on the Stark Phone she still wasn’t quite sure how to use, asking her if she wanted to hang out for a bit. She didn’t say no because she didn’t really know anyone else in the Compound, and she actually kind of enjoyed his company. She would never tell him that, though. “Have you ever seen_ Star Wars?” __

_Nebula furrowed her eyebrows. “I believe Quill mentioned that movie before, but I have never seen it. Why?”_

_Tony looked smaller than he ever had before. “Do you want to watch it? I had DUM-E set up a projector down here, so we’ll probably have to pack up and move to the, uh, living area at some point. If he actually did it correctly, though, I can have FRIDAY bring some blankets.”_

_The bags under his eyes were clear as day._

_“Okay,” she said. She sat down next to Tony pretzel-style, her posture missing any slouch._

_Tony raised an eyebrow, what could maybe be identified as a smile playing on his lips. “Is that comfortable?”_

_“Comfortable?”_

_“Doesn’t it hurt your back, or your neck, or… I don’t know. Sorry.”_

_Nebula shrugged._

_“Hey FRIDAY,” Tony called. “Wanna play_ New Hope _for us?”_

_\---_

_As the movie played, Tony watched with a sad nostalgia in his eyes. He was smiling, now, but it was clear that he wasn’t happy._

_He must have felt her eyes on him, so, without turning his eyes away from the video, he said: “This was Pete’s favorite movie. He made me watch it with him, like, fifteen times. I can probably perform a one-man version of it from memory.” Tony laughed softly, his eyes glowing in memory. “He doesn’t understand any metaphor I try to make unless it’s some sort of Star Wars reference.”_

_Nebula nodded. “Why did you want me here to watch it with you?”_

_Tony did turn to look at her this time, if only for a moment. “Everyone should see this movie. They say it’s a classic, or something like that. Figured you’d like it. You could trick the others with it, too. I know you like tricking people. Pretend it’s just like this, up there. See how far you get before they catch you.”_

_So many words, but Nebula knew what he was really saying was that he didn’t want to be alone._ )

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” She whispered, doing her best whisper-Darth Vader. She looked at the others, then back at Tony. It was as if they didn’t care. They’d known him for years, but his injury just didn’t matter. They had no faith, none of the love for each other that Nebula assumed they did when she was young. It was, frankly, disturbing.

\---

She moved to his bedside, sliding up a chair on the opposite side of Rhodey less than five minutes later.

\---

When Tony came to, everything was dark… Or maybe, empty was the correct word because though Tony couldn’t see anything right in front of him, his hands were clear as day. He turned his head to the right, looking to find anything that wasn’t just infinite nothingness… It seemed that he didn’t have to look too far.

Sitting criss-cross-applesauce and staring at him, eyes wide and mouth agape, was Peter Parker. Tony’s first instinct told him that he was dead. He was dead, and this was the afterlife. That was the only reason Peter would be here. The thought quickly left his mind, though, because there were much more important matters to tend to. Peter, Peter, Tony’s Peter was sitting right there, tears filling up his eyes.

“Mr. Stark?” His voice was hoarse, as if he had spent the past five weeks just screaming.

“Peter,” was all Tony could think to say. His feet seemed frozen as he took another shaky breath.

“Oh God,” Peter whimpered, turning away from Tony and planting his face in his hands. “Oh my God. I’m going crazy.”

“No, Pete, you’re not crazy.” Tony’s voice had picked up that soft quality, the one it only employed when he was around the kid.

“Shut up. I’m not talking to a hallucination.”

Tony’s heart broke in his chest. He knew that Peter wouldn’t be very receptive to further convincing through conversation, so instead he took a few steps closer to the kid, sitting down right next to him. Peter didn’t look up, so, gingerly, Tony moved his knee over until it pressed against Peter’s.

This caused the kid to look up at him, finally, his lips quirking into a small smile despite the obvious tears growing in his eyes. “You’re really here?”

“I think so, kid.”

Before Tony could think of a follow-up statement, maybe an explanation, his arms were full of teenager. Peter buried his head into Tony’s neck, and the man could feel his tears on his skin. Tony couldn’t help but hesitate a moment before hugging him back as tightly as he could manage, biting back tears of his own as the kid’s body shook within his grasp. Tony let his head rest on top of Peter’s, breathing in the scent of curls. Taking a shaky breath, he pressed a quick kiss to Peter’s head. Peter only cried harder in response.

As he held Peter, Tony once again considered the fact that he was dead. Maybe he was, but he didn’t think the afterlife would be so cruel to Peter. It obviously drove him crazy enough to think that he was hallucinating Tony- That made another awful idea enter his head. What if Peter was a hallucination? He didn’t toy around with this idea for too long; Tony knew Peter, knew him like the back of his hand. Tony also knew his own head. He could certainly tell the difference between the two by now. He’d been going crazy for decades, and this wasn’t crazy. This was real; this was Peter.

“Shh,” he whispered, rubbing circles into Peter’s back. “It’s okay. I’m here now.”

“I knew you would come, Mr. Stark. I knew it.”

“Yeah, well, we all know you’re always right. Move on,” Tony joked, pulling back from the hug just enough that he could see the kid’s face.

Peter rolled his eyes, a reluctant grin on his lips.

Tony sighed, running a hand through Peter’s curls. “Do you know where we are?”

“No. I don’t… I’m sorry. I-”

“Hey. Hey. You have nothing to be sorry for. That’s what I meant to tell you, what I was going to tell you, when-” Tony cut himself off abruptly. “When-”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to finish. I know what you’re talking about.”

Tony looked at him again. He kind of never wanted to stop because he knew what losing Peter felt like. He knew it. He knew it hurt more than anything, and looking at him… He could never lose him again. It would literally kill him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Tony said. “You know, us losing? If anything, it was that stupid magician giving up the stone. If I’d known what was going to happen…”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I apologized because I knew you were going to feel all guilty about it. I didn’t want you being sad about me.”

“Of course I was going to be sad about you. You’re my kid, kid.”

( _Peter had fallen asleep at his lab bench, a plate filled with pizza crusts resting adjacent to his head. A weird feeling hit Tony’s chest like a punch, causing something warm to spread through him. Fondness, maybe._ )

( _“There’s no way all those parallels are there by accident, Mr. Stark. No way.”_

_“You really think Star Wars has the guts?”_

_“Yes! Of course! It’s Star Wars!”_

_Tony found a small smile growing on his face as Peter rambled on, a new sort of feeling swelling in his chest._ )

“You’re like a son to me.” His voice was quiet even though there was no one else around to overhear their conversation. “I love you.”

Peter looked like he was going to cry again. “I love you too, Mr. Stark.”

“Shit,” Tony said, wiping his eyes with a flourish. “Now you’ve got me crying. Congrats.”

Peter laughed, once again burying his face in Tony’s chest; Tony wrapped his arms loosely around the kid again.

“I missed you,” He said. “You’re not allowed to die on me again, capiche?”

“Capiche.”

\---

“There appears to be no brain activity besides the normal bodily functions that are keeping him alive,” Bruce explained, trying hard to keep the hopelessness from his voice. “It’s as if his consciousness has up and left.”

“Does that mean he’s… he’s…” Nebula began. She found herself unable to finish, however, due to a strangled sort of feeling in her throat. She swallowed it back down, pursing her lips.

Bruce sighed. “He’s not dead, per se, but… Everything that made Tony Tony rather than just a vessel seems to be gone. I… I don’t… I have no idea what happened, and I have no idea what to do to fix it.”

Pepper cried quietly, picking up one of Tony’s hands and rubbing circles onto his palm. Rhodey hung his head, exhaling shakily.

“Can we have some time with him? Alone?” Rhodey asked. “As much as he’d appreciate the attention, he’d probably be more… himself, if not everyone was here.”

Bruce nodded, beginning to usher everyone out of the room. Nebula turned to walk out the door, but was stopped by-

“Hey, Nebula, wait,” Pepper called. Nebula turned around slowly, fighting to keep her face as clear as possible.

“Yes?”

“You can stay here with us, with him, if you want. Tony… He sent me a message when you two were in space. It didn’t go through, so I wasn’t able to watch it until you came back, but… He said that he would’ve gone crazy on that ship if it weren’t for you. He cares about you.”

Nebula blinked, unsure of what to say. There was a weird sort of feeling in her chest, and there was a prickling in her eyes. Maybe this is what it felt like, she thought, to be human. This is what it felt like to have a heart, to not be a cold-blooded machine. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so much.

She nodded, grabbing a chair from the corner of the room and pulling it over to the edge of Tony’s bed, relatively far away from both Pepper and Rhodey. She sat quietly for a moment before interrupting the silence with a soft, “Thank you.”

Pepper didn’t answer, only smiled. Nebula suddenly came to a realization: This was the place where she belonged. Here, with Tony, and Tony’s family. This was the feeling she had been waiting for, the feeling she had been hoping to find with Gamora and the Guardians. Nebula was desperate, she realized. Tony couldn’t be dead because if he were dead, her family would be gone before she even knew she had it. Surely, the world couldn’t be that cruel.

\---

“How could we be so stupid?” Steve exclaimed, pacing back and forth across the conference room.

Natasha was perched at the table, staring at nothing in particular. Bruce and Rhodey sat in the corner of the room, Rhodey looking impatient and Bruce nearly exploding with stress. Carol was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest.

“We should’ve… Why did we think it was going to be so easy?” He declared.

“I don’t know,” Natasha admitted, her voice barely a whisper. “It must’ve been the adrenaline of finding him.”

“Not only did we not, bring them back, but we lost T-”

“We get it, Steve. We get it. We fucked up,” Bruce said, sounding more exhausted than angry.

“We have to get the stones back,” Carol said. “That’s the only way to fix all of this.”

“He said the stones were gone-”

“He said they were back where the universe intended them. That means they’re somewhere. We just have to figure out where.”

“How the Hell are we supposed to do that?” Steve asked.

Carol thought for a moment before sighing. “I have no idea.”

“That kind of science is more Tony’s jurisdiction than mine.”

“Well, Tony is not really an option right now.”

“We have to do something.” Natasha said. “We have to… tell the public what happened to him.”

“Nat, we don’t even know what happened to him-”

“Jesus. Can you guys stop acting like he’s already dead?” Rhodey spoke up, flying to his feet in an almost defensive manner. “He’s not.”

Bruce hung his head, his tongue between his teeth before he spoke up again. “Rhodey. He’s gone. He’s not dead, but he’s gone.”

Rhodey scoffed. “You don’t know him like I know him. He’s a brother to me. No way Thanos took him down so easy. No way.”

“Then explain it to me, okay? Tell me why he’s unconscious in there. Tell me why his readings are so goddamn... weird!” The other Avengers watched Bruce as he raised his voice, expecting the green to spread across his face even though it never would.

“We’re not messing around with science here,” Carol piped in. “This is the Infinity Stones. This is magic. It isn’t like he got shot. You saw him up there; his veins were glowing. That doesn’t just happen.”

“I know, I know, but if we admit it’s magic, we admit there’s nothing we can do except wait. Wait for him to just… magically sit up like nothing was ever wrong, and…” Bruce exhaled sharply. “Without the Hulk, a doctor is all I am. If I can’t help him, then why am I even here?” 

The others stared at him, stunned by the outburst.

Bruce deflated quickly, consciously allowing his shoulders to relax as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “I’m… Thor was calling backup. I’m going to… see where he’s at with that. Let me know if… You know.” He walked away, looking embarrassed.

“I’m gonna go give Potts some moral support,” Carol declared after a few moments of awkward silence. “Nebula can probably use a break.”

\---

A strange feeling erupted in Tony’s chest, one he had never felt before. It felt like the area around him was shrinking rapidly, and, instead of growing smaller with it, he was just getting bigger, bigger, bigger-

“Mr. Stark, what’s wrong?” Peter asked. Tony could tell by his face that he had instantly entered panic mode.

“Nothing, just this… weird feeling-”

“You’re not going to leave me here, are you?”

“Kid, I-”

“You can’t leave me here, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s breathing sped up, and he rubbed at his own chest as if that would alleviate some of the nerves. “I barely made it… I don’t know how I made it this far, but… You can’t go. Not now. Please.”

Desperation crept its way into Peter’s voice, his eyes wide and begging. He had been alone for so long, and he hated being alone. He couldn’t be alone. He couldn’t be alone anymore. The thought was stuck in his mind, repeating over and over and over again like a broken record. Tony couldn’t leave him. Tony couldn’t leave him. Peter couldn’t be alone anymore. He couldn’t be alone anymore.

“I can’t…” Tony put his hands on Peter’s shoulders in an attempt to ground him. “I can’t make any promises. I have no idea how I got here in the first place. It might be booting me, now, for some reason.”

“No, no, you can’t-”

“I don’t want to, okay? I don’t want to. If it were up to me, I’d stay with you, but… I don’t think it’s up to me.”

Peter choked on his own breath, turning away from Tony and pacing across the blackness.

“Hey, kid, listen to me. Okay? Look at me.”

Peter obeyed, trying to quiet his breathing and keep his face steady.

“I will come back for you. I won’t leave you here. I’m going to get you out. I’m going to come back for you. I promise. I don’t break my promises, you hear me?”

“I don’t know if I can make it that long, Mr. Stark. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Peter couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Words were tumbling out before he even had time to consider what he was saying. He was crying, pleading, just like had on Titan all those weeks ago. “When you showed up here, I was on the brink, okay? I was on the brink. I was trying… Anything to not be in here. Anything. And I… And I… I can’t be alone again. I can’t.”

“Wait for me,” Tony begged. “Wait for me. I’ll get you out, and you’ll never be alone again. You just have to wait a little bit longer, okay? A little bit longer.”

“Mr. Stark-”

Peter did not get to finish his statement, however, because Mr. Stark had faded to dust before his eyes. The kid sat on the ground gracelessly, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in them. He cried near silently, rocking back and forth.

“A little bit longer,” He whispered. “Just a little bit longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the tw: at the end of the chapter after tony gets his weird feeling peter mentions how he was "on the brink" and willing to do "anything" to not be in the soul world anymore. i know it's not very specific but i just wanted to make sure you guys are okay:)
> 
> \---
> 
> hope you guys liked this chapter! i went longer than i intended without updating, but honestly im very excited for the second it movie so the hype for that has kind of been distracting me haha. anyway i love love love writing tony and nebula so. i was very excited for this chapter. and lots of tony and peter! which is nice because that's the reason i wrote this fic to begin with. on top of that, what kind of irondad fic would this be with no star wars reference? haha. anyway. i was listening to hadestown while i wrote this so. gotta love a good old wait for me reference!:)
> 
> i'll try to update again next week! thanks so much in advance for reading and commenting! see you guys in the next update:)


	6. you got this, spider-man:)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s alive?!”
> 
> “He just woke up,” Carol informed. “He’s saying that he talked to Peter.”
> 
> “Honey, I know. I know. You’ve been through a lot. You’re confused-”
> 
> “I’m not confused-”
> 
> “He just… sat up like nothing was wrong.”
> 
> “That doesn’t make any sense.”
> 
> “Tony, Peter is dead. It was all in your head.”
> 
> “No, no, no, I swear, it was Peter. We can figure out where they are. We can save them. You just have to put me back under so I can talk to him and tell him everything is under control.”
> 
> “Oh, yeah, he wants us to put him back under.”
> 
> “What?!”

When Tony Stark burst awake, Pepper was the first to react.

“Tony, oh my God!” She began bawling very quickly, much more quickly than Tony would’ve guessed. 

Carol, who had apparently also been by his bedside, was staring at him as if he had two heads. “You were dead!”

Tony couldn’t think straight, couldn’t think of a response; he just had to get back to Peter. He told Peter he would never leave him again, and now… He wouldn’t let the kid go through that crippling loneliness again. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. “No, no, no no no no. You need to put me back under,” Tony muttered, his eyes wide. Neither woman seemed to hear him, as Pepper kept rambling and Carol’s attention remained on her. “You need to put me back under!”

Pepper’s eyes flew up to Tony’s, her eyebrows creasing slightly. “Are you out of your mind?!”

“Stark, what are you talking about?” Carol asked at the same time.

Tony took a strangled breath. “I need to… Put me under. Please. Please.”

“Why?”

“I need to see him again. I talked to him. He told me he was lonely, and I can’t let him be lonely anymore. Please. Please. Please.”

“See who?” Carol looked absolutely bewildered.

Pepper’s face, however, melted into something akin to understanding. “Peter,” she whispered. “You talked to Peter?”

“Yes, yes, and he needs me, and I promised him. Put me under, Pep. Please.”

“Oh, Tony,” she said softly, her eyes full of pity. There was suddenly a sinking feeling in the man’s stomach. “It wasn’t real. You have to know that.”

“No, no, no,” Tony was sinking into desperation much too quickly; maybe it was all the physical trauma. His shook his head rapidly. “It was real. I know my kid. I know my kid-”

Suddenly, the door slammed open, revealing Bruce, looking quite shell shocked. “He’s alive?!”

“He just woke up,” Carol informed. “He’s saying that he talked to Peter.”

“Honey, I know. I know. You’ve been through a lot. You’re confused-”

“I’m not confused-”

“He just… sat up like nothing was wrong.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Tony, Peter is dead. It was all in your head.”

“No, no, no, I swear, it was Peter. I think they’re in the soul stone. We can save them. You just have to put me back under so I can talk to him and tell him everything is under control.”

“Oh, yeah, he wants us to put him back under.”

“What?!”

“Can everybody shut up?” Tony half-shouted, his voice dangerous. “Put me back under. Put me under. I need to talk to the kid.”

Bruce raised his arms in frustration. “Tony, you were gone. You weren’t thinking. There was… nothing. You shouldn’t be alive right now. This is a miracle. We’re not going to risk putting you back under. What if you never wake up?”

“It didn’t look like I was thinking because my consciousness was somewhere else, Bruce. Put me under right now, or I swear to God I will do it myself.”

“Tony-” Pepper started, her voice pleading.

“It was him, Pep. It was him. Come on. Believe me.”

“I don’t think you’re in the right mental state to make these kinds of decisions,” Bruce said, carefully. 

“I meant it, Bruce. Put me under or I will make you.”

“Tony, you’re in your own head. You need to calm down or-”

“Or what?” Tony’s face was full of an animosity Bruce had never seen from him before. “What are you gonna do? Huh? Sedate me?”

“This is the oxygen deprivation to your brain talking,” the doctor responded. “You didn’t talk to Peter. You’re just… Lack of oxygen… It makes you go a bit crazy for a little while.”

“Are you telling me I’m crazy?”

Pepper grabbed Tony’s hand in an almost condescending manner. He pulled it away, which only caused his fiance to get more upset.

“Tony-”

“I know crazy.” His breathing was quick, panicked. His eyes glistened with tears, but he bit his tongue to keep them unshed. “I’ve lived crazy. Do you need a list of all the shit I’ve been through? I saw ghosts, yeah, heard voices. That was all in my head. But this? This is Peter. I know me, I know my head. I’ve spent years in it. This isn’t that. It’s Peter.”

“I know you know the truth. Think about it. You watched him-”

“Stop. Stop.”

“They’re dead, Tony. I know it hurts to say, I know it hurts to admit, but-”

“No. No. No no no no-”

“Denying it isn’t going to change anything.”

“You don’t understand. I saw him-” Tony cut himself off abruptly, his eyes glistening as if he had just had the greatest idea of his entire career. “Even if it wasn’t real, why are you… Why are you trying to take that away? I saw him, and… I got to tell him everything I didn’t tell him before.”

Tony’s plan seemed to be working, as Bruce had quieted down. Carol looked suspicious, but even Pepper seemed to have bought what Tony was saying.

“Better yet,” Tony continued. “What if it was real? What if we can actually talk to Peter? Wouldn’t that help us bring them back?”

Bruce sighed deeply, shaking his head. “Tony…”

As if on cue, an announcement blasted through the speakers. It was Thor’s voice. “We have some visitors we need everyone to meet! Security is telling me about a… a ghost…” Thor’s voice trailed off. Vaguely audible was the sound of someone whispering something to him. “Oh, yes, and our good friend Clint Barton! And the Asgardians! If everyone could come to the lounge, that would be great!” There was some more whispering. Thor sighed in exasperation before talking again. “I guess if you would rather stay with Tony, that is also fine.” The announcement fizzled out, and everyone in the room sat in the quiet for a moment, all staring at each other.

“You guys go,” Pepper stated. “I’ll stay here.”

“I kinda want to be alone right now,” Tony said, putting on his best sad puppy expression. He had learned that trick from Peter.

“You know we can’t leave you here by yourself,” Bruce insisted. “Not after everything that just happened.”

“Fine. Which one of you will talk to me the least?”

Pepper exhaled deeply. “Tony-”

“I’ll stay with him,” Carol spoke up, crossing her arms. “We barely know each other. What do we have to talk about?”

Tony threw up his arms. “Looks like it’s settled, folks. Me and the Captain will stay here while you guys check out our uninvited guests.”

“Maybe it would be better if I stayed here. I’m the doctor-”

“And miss Thor’s spectacle? That’s not the Bruce I know.”

Bruce seemed very taken aback by this, slightly frustrated as if Tony had revealed some great big secret. He bit his tongue, his eyes drifting towards the floor. “Fine. Pepper and I will go. Carol, don’t let him do anything stupid.”

“Nothing I do is stupid!” Tony shouted, doing his best to sound like he was drugged up as Bruce and Pep made their way out of the room, Pepper looking back at him sadly and Bruce having a staring contest with the floor. As soon as the door slid shut, Tony turned his attention to Carol, who was glaring at him suspiciously.

“Okay,” She said. “What was that?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Carol scoffed. “You think I can’t tell that you were manipulating them. Instead of thinking you’re crazy, they feel bad for you. You can get away with a lot when people feel bad for you. It was a good strategy.”

“Guess you’re immune to my acting chops, huh?”

“Let’s just say that… I don’t appreciate liars, so I’ve learned to tell ‘em apart from the rest.”

“That’s fair.”

“So, you want me to put you back under, right? You thought I would be easiest to trick?”

“No. I thought you would empathize, or sympathize, or whatever.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I talked to Peter. I could tell something was happening right before I woke up. He was freaking out. Crying, begging me not to leave him again. He basically told me he was trying to find some way to kill himself in there because being on his own was driving him crazy. I wanted to… Tell him I would make it better, but I didn’t. The only thing I could think to say was that I would come back for him.”

Carol exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, Stark, but-”

“What would you do? If you were in my shoes?” He cocked his head at her, studying her expression as if it would give her answer away. 

“Monica isn’t technically-”

“Peter isn’t technically mine, either. I only met him, what, three years ago? Feels like I’ve known him my whole life, though. Who knows? Maybe things would be better if I had. Besides, you told me about her. You’ve been by her side since the beginning. You love her. You take care of her. That’s what makes you a parent.”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting me to do here.”

Tony sighed. “If I try to switch out the IV, it’ll set off every alarm. Bruce’ll come running. Fix it before it even knocks me out. Same would probably happen if you tried to switch ‘em.”

“So…?”

“I don’t know if you know this about me, Danvers, but I like to prepare myself for the worst. Even more important, I like to prepare Pete for the worst. In his room, in the basket in front of the bed, after you dig through all the Star Wars-themed Build-A-Bears he’s got in there, you’ll find a little Spider-Man lunch box. In there, there’s a set of keys. Twist the Iron Man key in the space on that desk,” Tony motioned over to a desk behind him in the corner of the room that housed a giant holographic screen. “It will manually override the alarms, and I’ll be able to drift off in peace.”

“What if Bruce’s right? What if you don’t wake up again?”

Tony took a breath. “You know that’s a risk that I have to take.”

His voice was so soft, his tone so serious, that Carol found herself nodding. “Fine. I’ll do it, but… You owe me a favor.”

Tony grinned. “Got it.”

\---

Sneaking into the more restricted parts of the Avengers Compound was much easier than Ava had thought it was going to be. Granted, her “powers” helped immensely, probably the only time she had ever considered them truly useful. Soon enough, she was in what seemed to be the Compound’s living area (with a little help from the building’s AI, who seemed quick to recruit anybody who could possibly help with the current situation). 

When she got there, everyone in the room was staring at her. The man she recognized as Thor, God of Thunder, was holding a microphone, going on about something or other. “And… a ghost.”

Someone, a dark haired woman donning a beautiful suit of armor, whispered something to him. He smiled widely at the words, grasping the microphone even more tightly before continuing on. “Oh, yes, and our good friend Clint Barton! And the Asgardians! If everyone could come to the lounge, that would be great!”

The armor-wearing woman whispered to him again, looking a bit annoyed. Thor sighed deeply before speaking again. “I guess if you would rather stay with Tony, that is also fine.”

He plopped the device on the table, walking over to Ava, his face twisting into something more intimidating. She couldn’t find it in herself to back down, even as he stood tall over her. He reached out his arm, presumably to call out his hammer. Rooted to the spot, Ava allowed herself to glitch away for a moment as the hammer flew its way into his hand.

“Who are you?” He asked, backing down slightly at the display.

“Ava,” she answered quickly, rushing to get to the part that would mean anything to them. “Ava Starr. I’m a… an acquaintance of Scott Lang? You know him, don’t you? He always bragged about meeting you in person.”

Steve put a hand on Thor’s shoulder, motioning for him to back up. The tension in the room diffused a little as Captain America himself cocked his head at her. “You know Scott? How did you meet him?”

A spike of pain coursed through Ava, her muscles jerking in response. “I needed something from him. He gives me quantum particles because they’re the only things that keep me alive. Now, he’s missing, and… I think I know where he is, but I don’t know how to get him out.”

“Quantum particles?” Bruce Banner, the Hulk, said, entering the room with a distraught looking blonde woman Ava recognized as Pepper Potts following close behind him. “How was Scott getting quantum particles? I thought travel to the quantum realm was theoretical. Besides, in all the tests we ran, even if we were able to get there, we wouldn’t be able to get back.”

“Scott can. And… It’s been weeks. I’m running on fumes now. I didn’t know who to go to. Dr. Foster, my… confidant, vanished along with everyone else. I went to meet Scott to get my supply, but he didn’t show. I went to his house, he wasn’t there. I went to where they keep the machine, in the van, and… It looked like it was still running. I think his friends vanished and left him there. In the quantum realm.”

“I can help you,” A voice said. Ava didn’t recognize it at all. She turned to look at its owner and saw a blue robot-looking figure who was perched in what seemed to be a somewhat uncomfortable position previously hidden by the presence of all the others in the room.

“Sorry, who are you?”

“My name is Nebula. Daughter of-” She cut herself off abruptly. The introduction had sounded practiced, as if saying it was a reflex instead of a genuine answer. “Nevermind. I know a lot about your kind of tech.” She raised up her hand, revealing a collection of wires and other materials in her wrist. “I’m made of it.”

Ava ignored the strokes of pain across her body, just like she had done for years on end. “So you can help?”

“Yes.” She stood jerkily, hesitating a moment before picking up a sleek phone from the table. She turned to Bruce. “Call me when I’m able to talk to him.”

Ava figured it was best not to ask as Nebula walked back towards the elevator, expecting her fellow traveler to simply follow behind her.

\---

Carol knew that you could learn a lot about a person by the look of their room. As soon as she pushed opened the door to Peter Parker’s, she felt as if she was traipsing around the boy’s own mind. She ran her fingers over a Star Wars poster on the wall, looking down at the half-complete worksheet folded into a Calculus textbook. 

The room was kind of a mess, to be frank. What she assumed was Peter’s laundry sat in a tower in the corner, overrunning whatever poor hamper was originally there to hold it. The walls and basically every possible surface were littered with post-it notes and polaroid pictures. To the right of the doorway stood a desk, and it was completely covered in textbooks, notes scribbled onto looseleaf paper, and an assortment of different mugs. 

There was also two picture frames on the desk. One was a picture of a boy who she assumed was Peter giving peace signs to the camera, a woman in round glasses doing the same. They were both covered in flour. She assumed there had been some baking mishap. The other picture was a selfie of the boy. He was once again throwing up a peace sign, apparently his signature move. Behind him, though, was Tony, lying fast asleep at his desk in the lab, a bit of drool puddling on the surface beneath him. Carol chuckled a bit to herself at the sight of that one.

She let her eyes drift to one of the post-it’s on the wall. The black marker stood bold against the neon pink paper. “ _ask mr. Stark about Father’s day plans?!??!?!?!?!_ ” It said with an exorbitant amount of punctuation marks and incorrect capitalization. Another one said in red pen, nearly illegible: “ _Tell Ned no go on raw eggs. Mr. Stark said even spiders get salmonella._ ” Then, an addendum: “ _Look up if spiders can get salmonella._ ” One post-it note was green instead of the normal pink and had little aliens doodled all over it. “ _Ask Mr. Stark to buy Area 51._ ”

She moved around the room, reading all the little post-it’s.

_“Get stuff to make dinner for May tn!!!”_

_“Tickets for that reading go on sale SATURDAY AT NINE! That’s SATURDAY. AT. NINE. and don’t tell MJ!!!.”_

_“buy flowers for the anniversary so may doesn’t have to”_

_“FIX!!!!! SUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”_

Carol was smiling to herself before she realized how terrible this situation truly was. Judging by the way Tony talked about Peter and the way all the pictures in this room were so perfectly strewn yet completely dust-free (as if someone had been in the room every day to clean them off, but didn’t dare move anything else), it had actually slipped her mind for a moment that this boy was dead, or at least gone somewhere else. Somewhere nearly unreachable. Nearly.

She turned away from the walls at that thought and headed over to the chest at the end of the bed. She pulled it open, and, sure enough, it was filled to the brim with Build-A-Bear’s. There was a Darth Vader one (with a name-tag around its neck reading Darth Bear-der), a generic Storm Trooper, a bear with space buns just like Princess Leia, and more.

( _Carol didn’t know this, but for Peter’s sixteenth birthday, Tony had bought out one of the Build-A-Bear’s in New York for the afternoon and allowed Peter to do whatever he wanted without any concern for the price. He had been a bit shy at first, but when he noticed there was only one worker who was only managing the cash register and making sure he didn’t destroy the whole place, he allowed himself to have more fun with it._ )

She reached through all the stuffed animals, cheering under her breath when her hand found a metal handle. She yanked it out, smiling down at the Spider-Man lunchbox. There was a post-it on this thing, to, as if it was a note for Peter to find during an emergency. It wasn’t written in the kid’s normal loopy print, though; instead, it was in a neat cursive.

_“You got this, Spider-Man:)”_

She recognized Tony’s signature at the bottom of the paper. Her chest ached, suddenly. She did her best to make sure that the letter didn’t bend at all when she pushed open the lunchbox. Inside, just like Tony had said, there was a set of keys. Each key was themed to a different superhero. She flipped past Thor, Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and more until she reached the Iron Man one. 

She shoved the keys into her pocket before heading out of the room as nonchalantly as she could manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! thanks so much for reading this chapter! i don't really like it that much. i could't figure out how to get tony and ava's characterization but. whatever. this is my wish-fulfillment fic so i guess it doesn't really matter that much.
> 
> anyway! your comments and kudos keep me going! i appreciate every nice thing you guys say immensely! sorry if this chapter is kinda disappointing. i like the next chapter a lot more (and it's really long) so there's that!:)
> 
> see you guys in the next update!


	7. the avengers?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava reached clumsily into her pocket, pulling out the flip phone Foster had given her before everything happened. She held it out to Scott. “You can call her on the way. We’ve got to get back to the Avengers.”
> 
> Scott paused in the middle of dialing the number, looking at Ava with an expression of pure confusion on his face. “The Avengers?!”

Ava stood behind Nebula, arms crossed, as the alien did her work. Something about the power source dying after being left on for so long, she said. Ava, whose phasing was going more and more out of control with every second that went by, didn’t really care about the specifics of it all. All she had ever wanted was control, control over the molecules in her body, control over her fate. Maybe she resented the fact that all she could do was stand by and watch as Nebula tried to fix her problem.

Focus, she thought to herself, as she glitched away for another moment, searing pain slicing through her entire body. Focusing on something helped, sometimes. She chose to focus on Nebula, who was messing around with a wrench. Her movements were stiff, robotic, her shoulders tense with stress. Her face was stoic, but every few moments she had to pause and breathe deeply, perhaps to calm herself down. No matter how many deep breaths she took, however, she still looked deeply uncomfortable and like there was definitely somewhere else she would rather be.

“You didn’t have to come,” Ava said. She wanted to put a hand on Nebula’s shoulder, maybe massage it with her thumb. Ava had always craved touch, always allowed the thoughts of hugs and handshakes and fist bumps to linger in the back of her mind. Even though she had long ago accepted the idea that this dream she had, a dream of handholding and pointless touches, was impossible, she allowed it to haunt her. She felt light on her feet when thinking about it. “I’m sure I could’ve convinced one of the others.”

“You wouldn’t have liked any of them,” Nebula answered quickly. Every word was clear, emphasized, as if at one point in her life she had faced consequences for them not being that way. “They’re the worst.”

“Scott liked them.”

“Scott’s an idiot.” Nebula paused, breathing. Her shoulders sagged for a moment before tightening right back up again. “No offense. Sorry.” The words were an afterthought, if that. It was as if she had only learned of apologies very recently and still wasn’t quite sure how to go about them.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re not wrong,” Ava said, a ghost of a smile gracing her face.

Nebula turned her head slightly in Ava’s direction, surprised by this response. She turned back to her work soon enough, though, toying with some of the wires closer to the van as Ava fiddled with her own fingers. She knew every inch of her hands so well as they were the only ones she was able to touch without her phasing getting in the way. Sometimes, when she was young and particularly lonely, she would trace the lines on the palm of her hand and pretend she was only doing it because she chose to, that she hadn’t been forced into her loneliness by extenuating circumstances.

She was interrupted by the sound of the machine whirring to life and a tired sounding voice coming through the walkie-talkie on one of the desks. “Okay, listen, this is not as funny as you guys think it is. What, did you just leave? Eating dinner? Let me guess: you left a camera here so you can film all of my quote un-quote overdramatic reactions and upload it on the internet. Well, guess what? You’re not going to have any material. None. Because I am handling this like a champ. I haven’t feared for my life once. I mean, yeah, I’m probably never going to let you guys send me in here alone ever again, but like, I feel like that’s a pretty… well-regulated reaction.”

Ava found herself glancing towards Nebula with a joking grin on her face, one that said: “Yeah, he’s always like this.” Nebula didn’t smile back, but her shoulders loosened a little; Ava saw that as a win. She picked up the walkie, holding it probably too close to her lips. “Scott?”

“Ava? What are you- Where’s Hope?”

“It’s a long story. We’re going to get you-” Ava phased away for a moment. When she came back, she was struck by a pain so intense she found herself on the ground, even more hurt radiating through her skull. She grimaced, clenching her fists tightly and biting her tongue- a confirmation that she was real- before sitting up and reaching for the walkie again. “We’re going to get you out.” She let the device slip from her fingers again, fearful of the tightness in her chest that would accompany it phasing through her hands again.

Scott was quiet for a second, probably trying to guess what had happened. “Who’s we?”

Ava reluctantly reached for the device only to find it being snatched away from her.

“We’ll explain everything when you get out. Now, shut up. I can’t focus with you monologuing back here,” Nebula said, her voice intimidating in a clearly rehearsed way. It seemed to be effective enough, however, because Scott remained silent as Nebula went to work on the piece of technology in front of her.

A strange feeling fluttered in Ava’s stomach. She remembered feeling it in abundance when Janet had her hands on Ava’s forehead, the full-body relief that had nearly turned her knees to jelly. Gratitude, maybe. Gratitude that she didn’t have to embarrass herself again, gratitude that she didn’t have to deal with the fear or rejection and judgement that came with asking for help. Nebula pressed a few more buttons, and, suddenly, the portal lit up before them. It flashed for a few moments before Scott appeared in front of them, his mask flying up and a bottle full of quantum particles in her hands. Ava’s chest ached in anticipation.

Scott looked at the two, his eyebrows furrowing when his gaze landed on Nebula. He seemed to realize there were slightly more pressing concerns, however, as he quickly made his way over to Ava’s side, holding out the bottle. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “You don’t technically need these for, like, another week or so, right?” His voice got quiet before he kept speaking. “And who’s that? And where is everyone?”

Before answering any of the questions, she took the capsule from Scott’s hands, pressing a few buttons on the end and allowing the particles to string her back together. The relief that flew through her was instantaneous and all-consuming. The constant ache in her bones dulled down until it was near silent. It took everything she had not to cry.

“Ava?” Scott asked again, holding out his hand to help her up. She took it gratefully, taking note of how, even through the Ant-Man suit, Scott’s hand was warm.

“You were in there for five weeks,” She stated. She’d never been a good bearer of bad news. “You missed… Something bad happened.”

Something in Scott’s face shifted. He went from confusion to worry to a calm sort of fear, the most disturbing kind.“Where’s Hope?”

Ava turned to Nebula, a silent plea for help. Ava only knew what she heard in the news, had only heard Tony Stark’s jokes about death, his summary of the whole thing, riddled with his desperate apologies. Scott followed Ava’s gaze, turning to the stranger. “What happened?”

Nebula blinked, pursing her lips. “There was a monster,” She started. She seemed stunned by how easily the word ‘monster’ slipped off her tongue. “He got hold of six powerful weapons, the Infinity Stones. With them, he was able to eradicate half of all life with the snap of his fingers.”

“They’re calling it the Decimation,” Ava added. “I… I came here looking for you and Hope, and all I found... “ Scott’s face twisted in anticipation. Ava closed her eyes. “All I found was dust. Everyone here, Hank, Janet, Hope… No one’s heard from them.”

Something in Scott’s expression sunk. That part of Ava, the one that craves touch and emotional intimacy, wanted to reach out, maybe put a hand on his shoulder. Instead, she stood frozen, wringing her fingers. She watched silently as her friend squeezed his eyes shut, hanging his head in grief.

“Cassie?” He asked. He asked slowly, like he’s afraid of the answer, like if it took her too he kind of didn’t want to know.

“She’s okay,” Ava said. “I went by when I was looking for you and the others. She’s worried about you. You should… talk to her.”

Ava thought about Dr. Foster. Thought about how when she first called him, when everyone was disappearing, how she listened as the phone rang and rang and rang and then asked if she wanted to leave a message. She called again and again and again, as many times as she could until the glitch came back and her phone toppled to the ground. She imagined Cassie felt the same way.

Ava reached clumsily into her pocket, pulling out the flip phone Foster had given her before everything happened. She held it out to Scott. “You can call her on the way. We’ve got to get back to the Avengers.”

Scott paused in the middle of dialing the number, looking at Ava with an expression of pure confusion on his face. “The Avengers?!”

\---

Tony was not sure what to expect as he fell asleep. He thought maybe it would be like the first time: Peter would stare at him with wide eyes before flying over to tackle him in a hug. He considered the fact that maybe he would be greeted by nothing at all, a black abyss to spend eternity rotting in. He thought that maybe, this would be what finally killed him. It would be fitting, he figured, if love would be the thing that finally, finally destroyed him. It would be a perfect arc, he thought, a tragically poetic ending. His fears couldn’t kill him; the only thing that could kill Tony Stark was himself.

However, he was not greeted with a tackle-hug, a black abyss, or an afterlife. Instead, his eyes caught on Peter Parker, who was looking smaller than he ever had before. He had curled himself into a ball, his eyes open and staring at nothing as he rocked himself back and forth. He was mumbling something under his breath; Tony was too far away to tell if it was nonsense or not. Peter hadn’t even seemed to pick up on the fact that someone else was here, that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Tony’s chest ached. He was lucky he wasn’t standing up because he was sure if he had been, he would’ve fallen right down. He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat felt tight. Tony wondered how long the the hours Tony had been gone felt like to Peter. The time had flown by for Tony, as he was immensely preoccupied with trying to come back, but for Peter? He had been sitting here alone, the dark sky unchanging, the silence suffocating, and the air always tasting just the same.

“Pete?” He said.

The kid didn’t look his way. He just kept rocking, kept whispering under his breath. It was as if Tony hadn’t said anything at all. Chills ran down the man’s spine. He exhaled heavily, slowly crawling his way over to the kid. As he grew closer, he began to decipher what it was Peter was saying. He would huff out a breath as if it was a chore before muttering a number under his breath.

“3756….” Breath. “3757…” Breath. “3758…”

Tony reached out hesitantly, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder. The boy in question must’ve jumped a foot in the air, turning towards Tony in shock. “How… How long have you been there?” Peter was jittery, clearly. His eyes were wild, leaning back on his hands as if he was afraid that if he touched Tony he would vanish in a puff of smoke. 

“Since around 3750, I guess,” Tony joked, his humorous tone falling flat.

Embarrassment flashed across Peter’s features, his shoulders sagged a little bit, presumably in relief, and his breathing sounded less robotic. “I’m glad you’re here.” He said. “I didn’t know if you were going to be able to come back.”

Peter’s expression teetered a bit. He looked like he wanted to cry but couldn’t will any tears to come out. Tony carefully put a hand on the kid’s knee, making sure to move slowly so as not to scare him. “Of course I came back. I told you I would. I’m no liar.”

“I know.”

It was quiet, and Tony had never hated Thanos more than he did at that one moment. Peter, smiley, kind, way-too-optimistic Peter, had been completely destroyed. His whole life he would be trapped in this room; Tony knew from experience. Every time he fell asleep he would be surrounded by the black walls, counting to some number he would never reach. He hated Thanos because even though Peter wasn’t technically dead, Thanos had killed him.

“You alright?” Tony asked. His tone was light because he was Tony Stark, and Tony Stark couldn’t be serious for one goddamn second. He had to make everything a fucking joke, everything an over-the-counter pill to swallow.

Peter laughed, then, but it was humorless. “Dude. I’ve been sitting here for, like, five goddamn hours with no idea whether or not I was going to be all alone for my entire existence.”

“Hey. Language.” Tony’s voice was strained at best. He considered making a joke about what Steve would say if he had heard him just then, but another question popped in his brain first. “How’d you know it’s been five hours?”

Peter shrugged. “Average person breathes, like, 16 times a minute, right? But, I’d rather underestimate how long I’ve been here than overestimate, so, I counted my breaths, and for every 12, I assumed a minute had passed by. I got up to 3758, so, that’s about five and a quarter hours, right?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, taken aback. “Sometimes I forget what a little genius you are.” Even under the circumstances, Peter smiled at the compliment, basking in the praise. Maybe some things would never change.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark.” He let out a breath. His eyebrows knitted together a little bit, and Tony could tell that he was frustrated that he lost what little sense of time he had. “How’d you get back here?”

“Well, Thanos knocked me out with the gauntlet the first time, right, so I figured if I zonked out again I’d come back. Wish it was that easy. Everyone seemed to have a thing against me sleeping, which is weird, because if a couple years ago, I had been begging to sleep, I’m sure half the people I know would literally pass out in relief. Took me a little while to get around that, but I did. Always do.”

“They’re going to wake you up again soon, aren’t they?”

“Probably the second they find out I fell asleep.”

Peter’s eyes fogged up. “Will you come back again?”

“Of course I will. You really think I’d leave you in here?”

“Not if you had a choice.” The implication was clear: eventually, Tony would have no choice but to leave him in here. What if there was no way to get him out? What if, suddenly, their connection ceased, and Tony couldn’t come back anymore? “But, what if you were only allowed to come here twice, and it’ll never happen again? And you guys can’t find any way to get us out?”

Tony shrugged even though the very thought ate away at his chest. “I’d build a time machine and keep you from ending up here in the first place.”

Peter smiled a bit at that. “Please don’t do that, Mr. Stark. Time travel is confusing enough in movies. Imagine trying to do it in real life.”

“I’m sure it’s straightforward enough. All I have to do is not keep my parents from ever meeting, right? Not fu- screw up the timeline?”

“You also can’t talk to past you. Or tell them any information from the future that you know.” Peter’s eyes widened. “How would you even be able to stop Thanos if you couldn’t tell anyone you knew he was coming?”

Tony huffed out a laugh. “Do you only watch nerd movies? Besides, I’ve been warning them about Thanos for years. Granted, they were vague warnings, but they were warnings nonetheless.”

“I believed you.”

And where did that get you? Tony thought. Anyone who’d ever believed Tony, ever known Tony, trusted Tony, suffered. Everyone who stuck by him. God knows Pepper wouldn’t have gone through so much emotional trauma if she had gotten a job at Oscorp. Rhodey might have never fallen out of the sky if he hadn’t been Tony’s best friend. Peter might not be stuck alone here if Tony hadn’t convinced him to go to Germany. 

“I know you did,” Tony said softly. He doesn’t even think about his words before he says them. “I’m sorry that it wasn’t enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re here, all alone, and I’m sorry.”

“I don’t- Why are you sorry? It’s not… It’s not your fault.”

“I-”

“Mr. Stark. You’re the good guy here. You’re the hero.” Peter said the words with a confused grin on his face, as if they were obvious. As if it was a known fact. “You’re the guy I watched on TV when I was younger saving New York. Saving humanity. You’re gonna save everyone again. I know you are. You always do.”

Tony thought of Charlie Spencer, the casualties of the Battle of New York, Peter turning to dust before his eyes. “I’m sorry that I even have to save you from this. I should’ve been able to protect you the first time.”

“It’s not your fault!”

“But Peter-”

“I don’t want to hear it. Not your fault.”

“Peter-”

“Alright. Fine. You want to play it that way. It’s all your fault. You’re the one who did this to me. But you know what?”

For the life of him, Tony had no idea what Peter was playing at. “What?” He said, feeling stupid.

“I forgive you.”

The world seemed to calm down for a moment. Tony’s brain slowed, his thoughts freezing on the words. He stalled for a minute, considering the idea and its implications. I forgive you. It was clear as day. I forgive you. I forgive you. Tony was sorry, so sorry, and he was forgiven. “You…”

“I forgive you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony’s breath caught in his throat. He totally, one hundred percent, had no idea what was happening. Something about the confusion, the oddness of the conversation, made him feel a bit lighter, like there was a coat of dust over his heart that had just blown away in the breeze.

Without thinking, he leaned over, pulling Peter into a hug. The kid hugged him back tight, so tight that if this wasn’t some sort of dream dimension with orange tints around the edges, his super strength probably would’ve left bruises on Tony’s shoulders. He didn’t mind, though. He just ruffled the kid’s hair with his spare hand, the words echoing in his head.

I forgive you.

\--- 

Meanwhile, as Ava, Scott, and Nebula drive back to the Compound, Nebula’s StarkPhone rang in her pocket. Hope, dangerous, painful, hope, clutched at her chest. She pulled it out, squinting at the buttons for a moment before hitting the green ‘answer’ icon. Scott and Ava looked at her expectantly as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line, her face stony.

She pulled the device away from her ear, hanging her head in sorrow.

“What’s going on now?” Scott asked.

On the way back, Nebula had briefed the two on what exactly was going on, from her upbringing with Thanos to Tony’s rainbow coma. For a moment, she wished they could read her because she was sick of having to explain. She was sick of hiding, sick of sharing, sick of it all.

“Stark apparently woke up briefly before knocking himself out again,” She said. “They don’t… They don’t understand what woke him up the first time, and they don’t know how to replicate it.”

She considered that maybe she shouldn’t have underestimated the cruelty of the world.

\---

When Clint Barton first arrived at the Avengers Compound, the whole place was complete chaos. People wearing outfits reminiscent of campy period pieces that played only at local film festivals flew through the halls, a destination clearly on their mind but the idea of how to get there thoroughly confusing. He assisted a few of them as he made his way to the lounge, where Natasha said they should meet. He made lighthearted jokes at Thor’s expense, winking at the visitors before making his way towards his friends. Nat had warned him that there were some guests from Asgard, but she hadn’t been honest about exactly how many of them there were. 

She had very briefly updated him on the situation. She told him about Thanos, how they went after him, how everyone was fine except Tony, who had miraculously woke up from some coma before knocking himself right back out again so he could see his kid. Hearing this news spiked a weird sort of feeling in his stomach. Maybe it was guilt, he thought. Regret. To be frank, he hadn’t really considered that Tony had people that he cared about other than Pepper. 

The two of them had only been even somewhat close for a minute, back in 2013 when the team was still a team, when Tony invited them over to the Tower once every two weeks for dinner and a movie. Everything had changed after Ultron, though. Clint didn’t understand Tony. He never truly did. He didn’t understand why he had to go out of his way to prevent threats that hadn’t even occurred to most of the others. He didn’t understand why Tony’s hands got shaky sometimes, why he would rub at his chest above his reactor as if his skin were just too tight. Sure. Clint had his fair share of trauma. All of them did. Honestly, that was what helped them bond so fast. 

Everyone handled it differently, though. Natasha was quick to bury it deep, deep down, suppress it under years of trained happiness. Clint did something similar. He joked and laughed and only ever cried when he knew he was alone. He wasn’t quite sure what Steve did. It seemed like he kind of held on tight to what everything was like before. He held onto who Bucky had been before everything. He held onto Peggy Carter, looking at her face in his compass before every decision he made. Thor was an open book for the most part. He was a fighter, quick to revenge. Bruce too bottled everything up; the only difference was that actually helped him. He used it all with the Hulk. Always angry, or whatever it was he said.

Clint had never come across someone like Tony, though: someone who seemed so open, so easy to read, but was anything but. Everyone, the whole world, knew what happened to Tony. They knew he was kidnapped, knew his old mentor figure had been electrocuted to death donning a suit much too similar to the one Tony himself had confessed to wearing. They knew when his house got blown up; they watched as he carried a nuke on his shoulders. They knew that he had flown up to space and come back down looking much smaller than before. In any way you put it, Tony Stark should’ve been an open book. Clint could tell he was hiding something. He was hiding behind a facade of some sort. It was too hard to tell if Tony was being himself or just being what he knew the people wanted him to be. Maybe it had been so long that even the man himself didn’t know the difference.

Clint had never understood him, not one bit, until he had heard what he did up on Titan 2.0. Putting yourself on the line for your kids was something Clint could definitely understand. Loving your kids so much that you would flip the whole world upside down was something that he understood, too. The understanding was awful, in a way, because to understand was to regret. To understand meant that he had to reevaluate everything he had ever said to Tony, hold it under a microscope and see if it still checked out. It didn’t. It didn’t check out. Clint wasn’t one for guilt, not at all, but when he walked past MedBay to see Pepper Potts sitting on a bench right outside, another blonde woman comforting her quietly, certainly made him feel something.

Natasha was the first one to notice his entrance, tossing a small, phony smile his way before heading over to his side.

“Any updates?” Clint asked, choking down the tightness in his throat.

“No,” Nat answered quickly, too quickly, as if she had anticipated what he was going to say. “Or maybe there are; we just don’t know yet. Bruce is pissed. I don’t think he’s stepping out of that room until Tony is back on his feet.”

“Why not?”

Natasha looked at him. He felt a bit scrutinized by her gaze. She could always read him, always knew what he was thinking whether he wanted her to or not. “Guilt.”

Clint caught her gaze, ignoring the way her eyes shimmered like she knew she had caught him. It was a game of cat and mouse, but neither of them minded playing. In fact, it’s what made their friendship so enjoyable. “Why would he feel guilty? It’s not his fault that Stark did what he did.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow slightly, a ghost of a smirk on her lips. She had always appreciated double meaning, especially if it proved her right, and Clint had certainly just proved her right. “He’s just upset he ever let him leave his bedside in the first place. Gave him the perfect opportunity to do whatever magic he did.”

“It wasn’t magic, though.”

“Hmm?”

“Magic isn’t what knocked him out. He convinced someone to help him, right?” Tony’s manipulation was one of the most interesting parts of his facade. The man always seemed to know the right thing to say to flatter his companion, the right pick up line or apology.

“I don’t think she took much convincing. She’s always been on his side.”

“Pepper?”

“Carol Danvers.” Clint furrowed his eyebrows, so Natasha launched into an explanation. “Captain Marvel. She was the one Fury sent that message to when he Vanished.”

Clint nodded. “Why haven’t we heard of her? Didn’t you leak all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files?”

“She was too top secret for S.H.I.E.L.D. Too top secret for us, too. Apparently she was around in the 90's. She’s from space. Has superpowers.”

“Damn,” Clint said. “I just shoot arrows. Sometimes I wonder what I’m still doing here.”

“Trust me,” She deadpanned. “Everyone else is wondering why you’re still here, too.”

Clint grinned back at her, leaning over to bump her shoulder with his. “I know why I’m here.”

“Why?”

“I missed you.”

Before Natasha could answer, a voice came from down the hallway. Clint turned, recognizing the woman speaking as Carol Danvers. 

“He’s awake!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I went so long without posting! Honestly lost track of time:( I hope this chapter is long enough to make up for it! Anyway, updates are probably going to start coming slower because school is starting up again for me soon and, as I mentioned before, it chapter two is coming out so I'm going to be pretty distracted haha. I do have some more chapters pre-written though, so it shouldn't get too bad!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it! Your comments make my day:) See you in the next update!


End file.
